A Hidden Life

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THE INNER DREAM.

It was a drizzly morning where I stood. The cloud had sunk, and filled with fold on fold The chimneyed city; so the smoke rose not, But spread diluted in the cloud, and fell A black precipitate on miry streets, Where dim grey faces vision-like went by, But half-awake, half satisfied with sleep.

Slave engines had begun their ceaseless growl Of labour. Iron bands and huge stone blocks That held them to their task, strained, shook, until The city trembled. Those pale-visaged forms Were hastening on to feed their groaning strength With labour to the full.

  Look! there they come,

Poor amid poverty; she with her gown Drawn over her meek head; he trying much, But fruitless half, to shield her from the rain. They enter the wide gates, amid the jar, And clash, and shudder of the awful force That, conquering force, still vibrates on, as if With an excess of power, hungry for work. With differing strength to different tasks they part, To be the soul of knowledge unto strength; For man has eked his body out with wheels, And cranks, and belts, and levers, pinions, screws-- One body all, pervaded still with life From man the maker's will. 'Mid keen-eyed men, Thin featured and exact, his part is found; Hers where the dusk air shines with lustrous eyes.

And there they laboured through the murky day, Whose air was livid mist, their only breath; Foul floating dust of swift revolving wheels And feathery spoil of fast contorted threads Making a sultry chaos in the sun. Until at length slow swelled the welcome dark, A dull Lethean heaving tide of death, Up from the caves of Night to make an end; And filling every corner of the place, Choked in its waves the clanking of the looms. And Earth put on her sleeping dress, and took Her children home into its bosom-folds, And nursed them as a mother-ghost might sit With her neglected darlings in the dark. So with dim satisfaction in their hearts, Though with tired feet and aching head, they went, Parting the clinging fog to find their home. It was a dreary place. Unfinished walls, Far drearier than ruins overspread With long-worn sweet forgetfulness, amidst Earth-heaps and bricks, rain-pools and ugliness, Rose up around, banishing further yet The Earth, with its spring-time, young-mother smile, From children's eyes that had forgot to play. But though the house was dull and wrapt in fog, It yet awoke to life, yea, cheerfulness, When darkness oped a fire-eye in the grate, And the dim candle's smoky flame revealed A room which could not be all desolate, Being a temple, proven by the signs Seen in the ancient place. For here was light; And blazing fire with darkness on its skirts; Bread; and pure water, ready to make clean, Beside a chest of holiday attire; And in the twilight edges of the light, A book scarce seen; and for the wondrous veil, Those human forms, behind which lay concealed The Holy of Holies, God's own secret place, The lowly human heart wherein He dwells. And by the table-altar they sat down To eat their Eucharist, God feeding them: Their food was Love, made visible in Form-- Incarnate Love in food. For he to whom A common meal can be no Eucharist, Who thanks for food and strength, not for the love That made cold water for its blessedness, And wine for gladness' sake, has yet to learn The heart-delight of inmost thankfulness For innermost reception.

  Then they sat

Resting with silence, the soul's inward sleep, Which feedeth it with strength; till gradually They grew aware of light, that overcame The light within, and through the dingy blind, Cast from the window-frame, two shadow-glooms That made a cross of darkness on the white, Dark messenger of light itself unseen. The woman rose, and half she put aside The veil that hid the whole of glorious night; And lo! a wind had mowed the earth-sprung fog; And lo! on high the white exultant moon From clear blue window curtained all with white, Greeted them, at their shadowy window low, With quiet smile; for two things made her glad: One that she saw the glory of the sun; For while the earth lay all athirst for light, She drank the fountain-waves. The other joy; Sprung from herself: she fought the darkness well, Thinning the great cone-shadow of the earth, Paling its ebon hue with radiant showers Upon its sloping side. The woman said, With hopeful look: "To-morrow will be bright With sunshine for our holiday--to-morrow-- Think! we shall see the green fields in the sun." So with hearts hoping for a simple joy, Yet high withal, being no less than the sun, They laid them down in nightly death that waits Patiently for the day.

  That sun was high

When they awoke at length. The moon, low down, Had almost vanished, clothed upon with light; And night was swallowed up of day. In haste, Chiding their weariness that leagued with sleep, They, having clothed themselves in clean attire, By the low door, stooping with priestly hearts, Entered God's vision-room, his wonder-world.

One side the street, the windows all were moons To light the other that in shadow lay. The path was almost dry; the wind asleep. And down the sunny side a woman came In a red cloak that made the whole street glad-- Fit clothing, though she was so feeble and old; For when they stopped and asked her how she fared, She said with cheerful words, and smile that owed None of its sweetness to an ivory lining: "I'm always better in the open air." "Dear heart!" said they, "how freely she will breathe In the open air of heaven!" She stood in the morn Like a belated autumn-flower in spring, Dazed by the rushing of the new-born life Up the earth's winding cavern-stairs to see Through window-buds the calling, waking sun. Or as in dreams we meet the ghost of one Beloved in youth, who walketh with few words, And they are of the past. Yet, joy to her! She too from earthy grave was climbing up Unto the spirit-windows high and far, She the new life for a celestial spring, Answering the light that shineth evermore.

With hopeful sadness thus they passed along Dissolving streets towards the smiles of spring, Of which green visions gleamed and glided by, Across far-narrowing avenues of brick: The ripples only of her laughter float Through the low winding caverns of the town; Yet not a stone upon the paven street, But shareth in the impulse of her joy, Heaven's life that thrills anew through the outworn earth; Descending like the angel that did stir Bethesda's pool, and made the sleepy wave Pulse with quick healing through the withered limb, In joyous pangs. By an unfinished street, Forth came they on a wide and level space; Green fields lay side by side, and hedgerow trees Stood here and there as waiting for some good. But no calm river meditated through The weary flat to the less level sea; No forest trees on pillared stems and boughs Bent in great Gothic arches, bore aloft A cloudy temple-roof of tremulous leaves; No clear line where the kissing lips of sky And earth meet undulating, but a haze That hides--oh, if it hid wild waves! alas! It hides but fields, it hides but fields and trees! Save eastward, where a few hills, far away, Came forth in the sun, or drew back when the clouds Went over them, dissolving them in shade. But the life-robe of earth was beautiful, As all most common things are loveliest; A forest of green waving fairy trees, That carpeted the earth for lowly feet, Bending unto their tread, lowliest of all Earth's lowly children born for ministering Unto the heavenly stranger, stately man; That he, by subtle service from all kinds, From every breeze and every bounding wave, From night-sky cavernous with heaps of storm, And from the hill rejoicing in the sun, Might grow a humble, lowly child of God; Lowly, as knowing his high parentage; Humble, because all beauties wait on him, Like lady-servants ministering for love. And he that hath not rock, and hill, and stream, Must learn to look for other beauty near; To know the face of ocean solitudes, The darkness dashed with glory, and the shades Wind-fretted, and the mingled tints upthrown From shallow bed, or raining from the sky. And he that hath not ocean, and dwells low, Not hill-befriended, if his eyes have ceased To drink enjoyment from the billowy grass, And from the road-side flower (like one who dwells With homely features round him every day, And so takes refuge in the loving eyes Which are their heaven, the dwelling-place of light), Must straightway lift his eyes unto the heavens, Like God's great palette, where His artist hand Never can strike the brush, but beauty wakes; Vast sweepy comet-curves, that net the soul In pleasure; endless sky-stairs; patient clouds, White till they blush at the sun's goodnight kiss; And filmy pallours, and great mountain crags. But beyond all, absorbing all the rest, Lies the great heaven, the expression of deep space, Foreshortened to a vaulted dome of blue; The Infinite, crowded in a single glance, Where yet the eye descends depth within depth; Like mystery of Truth, clothed in high form, Evasive, spiritual, no limiting, But something that denies an end, and yet Can be beheld by wondering human eyes. There looking up, one well may feel how vain To search for God in this vast wilderness! For over him would arch void depth for ever; Nor ever would he find a God or Heaven, Though lifting wings were his to soar abroad Through boundless heights of space; or eyes to dive To microscopic depths: he would come back, And say, There is no God; and sit and weep; Till in his heart a child's voice woke and cried, Father! my Father! Then the face of God Breaks forth with eyes, everywhere, suddenly And not a space of blue, nor floating cloud, Nor grassy vale, nor distant purple height, But, trembling with a presence all divine, Says, Here I am, my child.

  Gazing awhile,

They let the lesson of the sky sink deep Into their hearts; withdrawing then their eyes, They knew the Earth again. And as they went, Oft in the changing heavens, those distant hills Shone clear upon the horizon. Then awoke A strange and unknown longing in their souls, As if for something loved in years gone by, And vanished in its beauty and its love So long, that it retained no name or form, And lay on childhood's verge, all but forgot, Wrapt in the enchanted rose-mists of that land: As if amidst those hills were wooded dells, Summer, and gentle winds, and odours free, Deep sleeping waters, gorgeous flowers, and birds, Pure winged throats. But here, all things around Were in their spring. The very light that lay Upon the grass seemed new-born like the grass, Sprung with it from the earth. The very stones Looked warm. The brown ploughed earth seemed swelling up, Filled like a sponge with sunbeams, which lay still, Nestling unseen, and broodingly, and warm, In every little nest, corner, or crack, Wherein might hide a blind and sleepy seed, Waiting the touch of penetrative life To wake, and grow, and beautify the earth. The mossy stems and boughs, where yet no life Exuberant overflowed in buds and leaves, Were clothed in golden splendours, interwoven With many shadows from the branches bare. And through their tops the west wind rushing went, Calling aloud the sleeping sap within: The thrill passed downwards from the roots in air To the roots tremulous in the embracing ground. And though no buds with little dots of light Sparkled the darkness of the hedgerow twigs; Softening, expanding in the warm light-bath, Seemed the dry smoky bark.

  Thus in the fields

They spent their holiday. And when the sun Was near the going down, they turned them home With strengthened hearts. For they were filled with light, And with the spring; and, like the bees, went back To their dark house, laden with blessed sights, With gladsome sounds home to their treasure-cave; Where henceforth sudden gleams of spring would pass Thorough the four-walled darkness of the room; And sounds of spring-time whisper trembling by, Though stony streets with iron echoed round. And as they crossed a field, they came by chance Upon a place where once a home had been; Fragments of ruined walls, half-overgrown With moss, for even stones had their green robe. It had been a small cottage, with a plot Of garden-ground in front, mapped out with walks Now scarce discernible, but that the grass Was thinner, the ground harder to the foot: The place was simply shadowed with an old Almost erased human carefulness. Close by the ruined wall, where once had been The door dividing it from the great world, Making it home, a single snowdrop grew. 'Twas the sole remnant of a family Of flowers that in this garden once had dwelt, Vanished with all their hues of glowing life, Save one too white for death.

  And as its form

Arose within the brain, a feeling sprung Up in their souls, new, white, and delicate; A waiting, longing, patient hopefulness, The snowdrop of the heart. The heavenly child, Pale with the earthly cold, hung its meek head, Enduring all, and so victorious; The Summer's earnest in the waking Earth, The spirit's in the heart.

  I love thee, flower,

With a love almost human, tenderly; The Spring's first child, yea, thine, my hoping heart! Upon thy inner leaves and in thy heart, Enough of green to tell thou know'st the grass; In thy white mind remembering lowly friends; But most I love thee for that little stain Of earth on thy transfigured radiancy, Which thou hast lifted with thee from thy grave, The soiling of thy garments on thy road, Travelling forth into the light and air, The heaven of thy pure rest. Some gentle rain Will surely wash thee white, and send the earth Back to the place of earth; but now it signs Thee child of earth, of human birth as we.

With careful hands uprooting it, they bore The little plant a willing captive home; Willing to enter dark abodes, secure In its own tale of light. As once of old, Bearing all heaven in words of promising, The Angel of the Annunciation came, It carried all the spring into that house; A pot of mould its only tie to Earth, Its heaven an ell of blue 'twixt chimney-tops, Its world henceforth that little, low-ceiled room, Symbol and child of spring, it took its place 'Midst all those types, to be a type with them, Of what so many feel, not knowing it; The hidden springtime that is drawing nigh. And henceforth, when the shadow of the cross Will enter, clothed in moonlight, still and dark, The flower will nestle at its foot till day, Pale, drooping, heart-content.

  To rest they went.

And all night long the snowdrop glimmered white Amid the dark, unconscious and unseen.

Before the sun had crowned his eastern hill With its world-diadem, they woke.

I looked

Out of the windows of the inner dream, And saw the edge of the sun's glory rise Eastward behind the hills, the lake-cup's rim. And as it came, it sucked up in itself, As deeds drink words, or daylight candle-flame, That other sun rising to light the dream. They lay awake and thoughtful, comforted With yesterday which nested in their hearts, Yet haunted with the sound of grinding wheels.



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