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THE HUMAN SACRIFICE.
The same wind that rushed about the funeral of William Marston in
the old churchyard of Testbridge, howled in the roofless hall and
ruined tower of Durnmelling, and dashed against the plate-glass
windows of the dining-room, where the three ladies sat at lunch.
Immediately it was over, Lady Malice rose, saying:
"Hesper, I want a word with you. Come to my room."
Hesper obeyed, with calmness, but without a doubt that evil
awaited her there. To that room she had never been summoned for
anything she could call good. And indeed she knew well enough
what evil it was that to-day played the Minotaur. When they
reached the boudoir, rightly so called, for it was more in use
for sulking than for anything else, Lady Margaret, with
back as straight as the door she had just closed, led the way to
the fire, and, seating herself, motioned Hesper to a chair.
Hesper again obeyed, looking as unconcerned as if she cared for
nothing in this world or in any other. Would we were all as
strong to suppress hate and fear and anxiety as some ladies are
to suppress all show of them! Such a woman looks to me like an
automaton, in which a human soul, somewhere concealed, tries to
play a good game of life, and makes a sad mess of it.
"Well, Hesper, what do you think?" said her mother, with a dull
attempt at gayety, which could nowise impose upon the experience
of her daughter.
"I think nothing, mamma," drawled Hesper.
"Mr. Redmain has come to the point at last, my dear child."
"What point, mamma?"
"He had a private interview with your father this morning."
"Indeed!"
"Foolish girl! you think to tease me by pretending indifference!"
"How can a fact be pretended, mamma? Why should I care what
passes in the study? I was never welcome there. But, if you wish,
I will pretend. What important matter was settled in the study
this morning?"
"Hesper, you provoke me with your affectation!"
Hesper's eyes began to flash. Otherwise she was still--silent--
not a feature moved. The eyes are more untamable than the tongue.
When the wild beast can not get out at the door, nothing can keep
him from the windows. The eyes flash when the will is yet lord
even of the lines of the mouth. Not a nerve of Hesper's quivered.
Though a mere child in the knowledge that concerned her own
being, even the knowledge of what is commonly called the heart,
she was yet a mistress of the art of self-defense, socially
applied, and she would not now put herself at the disadvantage of
taking anything for granted, or accept the clearest hint for a
plain statement. She not merely continued silent, but looked so
utterly void of interest, or desire to speak, that her mother,
recognizing her own child, and quailing before the evil spirit
she had herself sent on to the generations to come, yielded and
spoke out.
"Mr. Redmain has proposed for your hand, Hesper," she said, in a
tone as indifferent in her turn as if she were mentioning the
appointment of a new clergyman to the family living.
For one moment, and one only, the repose of Hesper's faultless
upper lip gave way; one writhing movement of scorn passed along
its curves, and left them for a moment straightened out--to
return presently to a grander bend than before. In a tone that
emulated, and more than equaled, the indifference of her
mother's, she answered:
"And papa?"
"Has referred him to you, of course," replied Lady Margaret.
"Meaning it?"
"What else? Why not? Is he not a bon parli?"
"Then papa did not mean it?" "I do not understand you,"
elaborated the mother, with a mingled yawn, which she was far
from attempting to suppress, seeing she simulated it.
"If Mr. Redmain is such a good match in papa's eyes," explained
Hesper, "why does papa refer him to me?"
"That you may accept him, of course."
"How much has the man promised to pay for me?"
"_Hesper!_"
"I beg your pardon, mamma. I thought you approved of calling
things by their right names!"
"No girl can do better than follow her mother's example," said
Lady Margaret, with vague sequence. "If you do, Hesper,
you will accept Mr. Redmain."
Hesper fixed her eyes on her mother, but hers were too cold and
clear to quail before them, let them flash and burn as they
pleased.
"As you did papa?" said Hesper.
"As I did Mr. Mortimer."
"That explains a good deal, mamma."
"We are your parents, anyhow, Hesper."
"I suppose so. I don't know which to be sorrier for--you or me.
Tell me, mamma: would you marry Mr. Redmain?"
"That is a foolish question, and ought not to be put. It is one
which, as a married woman, I could not consider without
impropriety. Knowing the duty of a daughter, I did not put the
question to you. You are yourself the offspring of duty."
"If you were in my place, mamma," reattempted Hesper, but her
mother did not allow her to proceed.
"In any place, in every place, I should do my duty," she said.
It was not only born in Lady Malice's blood, but from earliest
years, had been impressed on her brain, that her first duty was
to her family, and mainly consisted in getting well out of its
way--in going peaceably through the fire to Moloch, that the rest
might have good places in the Temple of Mammon. In her turn, she
had trained her children to the bewildering conviction that it
was duty to do a certain wrong, if it should be required. That
wrong thing was now required of Hesper--a thing she scorned,
hated, shuddered at; she must follow the rest; her turn to be
sacrificed was come; she must henceforth be a living lie. She
could recompense herself as the daughters who have sinned by
yielding generally do when they are mothers, with the sin of
compelling, and thus make the trespass round and full. There is
in no language yet the word invented to fit the vileness of such
mothers; but, as time flows and speech grows, it may be found,
and, when it is found, it will have action retrospective. It is a
frightful thing when ignorance of evil, so much to be desired
where it can contribute to safety, is employed to smooth the way
to the unholiest doom, in which love itself must ruthlessly
perish, and those, who on the plea of virtue were kept ignorant,
be perfected in the image of the mothers who gave them over to
destruction. Some, doubtless, of the innocents thus immolated
pass even through hideous fires of marital foulness to come out
the purer and the sweeter; but whither must the stone about the
neck of those that cause the little ones to offend sink those
mothers? What company shall in the end be too low, too foul for
them? Like to like it must always be.
Hesper was not so ignorant as some girls; she had for some time
had one at her side capable of casting not a little light of the
kind that is darkness.
"_Duty_, mamma!" she cried, her eyes flaming, and her cheek
flushed with the shame of the thing that was but as yet the
merest object in her thought; "can a woman be born for such
things? How could I--mamma, how could any woman, with an
atom of self-respect, consent to occupy the same--room
with Mr. Redmain?"
"Hesper! I am shocked. Where did you learn to speak, not
to say think, of such things? Have I taken such pains--
good God! you strike me dumb! Have I watched my child like a
very--angel, as anxious to keep her mind pure as her body fair,
and is this the result?" Upon what Lady Margaret founded
her claim to a result more satisfactory to her maternal designs,
it were hard to say. For one thing, she had known nothing of what
went on in her nursery, positively nothing of the real character
of the women to whom she gave the charge of it; and--although, I
dare say, for worldly women, Hesper's schoolmistresses were quite
respectable--what did her mother, what could she know of the
governesses or of the flock of sheep--all presumably, but how
certainly all white?--into which she had sent her?
"Is this the result?" said Lady Margaret.
"Was it your object, then, to keep me innocent, only that I might
have the necessary lessons in wickedness first from my husband?"
said Hesper, with a rudeness for which, if an apology be
necessary, I leave my reader to find it.
"Hesper, you are vulgar!" said Lady Margaret, with cold
indignation, and an expression of unfeigned disgust. She was,
indeed, genuinely shocked. That a young lady of Hesper's birth
and position should talk like this, actually objecting to a man
as her husband because she recoiled from his wickedness, of which
she was not to be supposed to know, or to be capable of
understanding, anything, was a thing unheard of in her world-a
thing unmaidenly in the extreme! What innocent girl would or
could or dared allude to such matters? She had no right to know
an atom about them!
"You are a married woman, mamma," returned Hesper, "and therefore
must know a great many things I neither know nor wish to know.
For anything I know, you may be ever so much a better woman than
I, for having learned not to mind things that are a horror to me.
But there was a time when you shrunk from them as I do now. I
appeal to you as a woman: for God's sake, save me from marrying
that wretch!"
She spoke in a tone inconsistently calm.
"Girl! is it possible you dare to call the man, whom your father
and I have chosen for your husband, a wretch!"
"Is he not a wretch, mamma?"
"If he were, how should I know it? What has any lady got to do
with a man's secrets?"
"Not if he wants to marry her daughter?"
"Certainly not. If he should not be altogether what he ought to
be--and which of us is?--then you will have the honor of
reclaiming him. But men settle down when they marry."
"And what comes of their wives?"
"What comes of women. You have your mother before you, Hesper."
"O mother!" cried Hesper, now at length losing the horrible
affectation of calm which she had been taught to regard as de
rigueur, "is it possible that you, so beautiful, so
dignified, would send me on to meet things you dare not tell me--
knowing they would turn me sick or mad? How dares a man like that
even desire in his heart to touch an innocent girl?"
"Because he is tired of the other sort," said Lady Malice, half
unconsciously, to herself. What she said to her daughter was ten
times worse: the one was merely a fact concerning Redmain; the
other revealed a horrible truth concerning herself. "He will
settle three thousand a year on you, Hesper," she said with a
sigh; "and you will find yourself mistress."
"I don't doubt it," answered Hesper, in bitter scorn. "Such a man
is incapable of making any woman a wife."
Hesper meant an awful spiritual fact, of which, with all her
ignorance of human nature, she had yet got a glimpse in her
tortured reflections of late; but her mother's familiarity with
evil misinterpreted her innocence, and caused herself utter
dismay. What right had a girl to think at all for herself in such
matters? Those were things that must be done, not thought of!
"These things must not be thought
After these ways; so, they will drive us mad."
Yes, these things are hard to think about--harder yet to write
about! The very persons who would send the white soul into arms
whose mere touch is a dishonor will be the first to cry out with
indignation against that writer as shameless who but utters the
truth concerning the things they mean and do; they fear lest
their innocent daughters, into whose hands his books might
chance, by ill luck, to fall, should learn that it is their
business to keep themselves pure.--Ah, sweet mothers! do
not be afraid. You have brought them up so carefully,
that they suspect you no more than they do the well-bred
gentlemen you would have them marry. And have they not your blood
in them? That will go far. Never heed the foolish puritan. Your
mothers succeeded with you: you will succeed with your daughters.
But it is a shame to speak of those things that are done of you
in secret, and I will forbear. Thank God, the day will come--it
may be thousands of years away--when there shall be no such
things for a man to think of, any more than for a girl to shudder
at! There is a purification in progress, and the kingdom of
heaven will come, thanks to the Man who was holy,
harmless, undefined, and separate from sinners. You have heard a
little, probably only a little, about him at church sometimes.
But, when that day comes, what part will you have had in causing
evil to cease from the earth?
There had been a time in the mother's life when she herself
regarded her approaching marriage, with a man she did not love,
as a horror to which her natural maidenliness--a thing she could
not help--had to be compelled and subjected: of the true
maidenliness--that before which the angels make obeisance, and
the lion cowers--she never had had any; for that must be gained
by the pure will yielding itself to the power of the highest.
Hence she had not merely got used to the horror, but in a measure
satisfied with it; never suspecting, because never caring enough,
that she had at the same time, and that not very gradually, been
assimilating to the horror; had lost much of what purity she had
once had, and become herself unclean, body and mind, in the
contact with uncleanness. One thing she did know, and that
swallowed up all the rest--that her husband's affairs were so
involved as to threaten absolute poverty; and what woman of the
world would not count damnation better than that?--while Mr.
Redmain was rolling in money. Had she known everything bad of her
daughter's suitor, short of legal crime, for her this would have
covered it all.
In Hesper's useless explosion the mother did not fail to
recognize the presence of Sepia, without whose knowledge of the
bad side of the world, Hesper, she believed, could not have been
awake to so much. But she was afraid of Sepia. Besides, the thing
was so far done; and she did not think she would work to thwart
the marriage. On that point she would speak to her.
But it was a doubtful service that Sepia had rendered her cousin
--to rouse her indignation and not her strength; to wake horror
without hinting at remedy; to give knowledge of impending doom,
without poorest suggestion of hope, or vaguest shadow of possible
escape. It is one thing to see things as they are; to be consumed
with indignation at the wrong; to shiver with aversion to the
abominable; and quite another to rouse the will to confront the
devil, and resist him until he flee. For this the whole education
of Hesper had tended to unfit her. What she had been taught--and
that in a world rendered possible only by the self-denial of a
God--was to drift with the stream, denying herself only that
divine strength of honest love, which would soonest help her to
breast it.
For the earth, it is a blessed thing that those who arrogate to
themselves the holy name of society, and to whom so large a
portion of the foolish world willingly yields it, are in reality
so few and so ephemeral. Mere human froth are they, worked up by
the churning of the world-sea--rainbow-tinted froth, lovely
thinned water, weaker than the unstable itself out of which it is
blown. Great as their ordinance seems, it is evanescent as
arbitrary: the arbitrary is but the slavish puffed up--and is
gone with the hour. The life of the people is below; it ferments,
and the scum is for ever being skimmed off, and cast--God knows
where. All is scum where will is not. They leave behind them
influences indeed, but few that keep their vitality in shapes of
art or literature. There they go--little sparrows of the human
world, chattering eagerly, darting on every crumb and seed of
supposed advantage! while from behind the great dustman's cart,
the huge tiger-cat of an eternal law is creeping upon them. Is it
a spirit of insult that leads me to such a comparison? Where
human beings do not, will not will, let them be ladies
gracious as the graces, the comparison is to the disadvantage of
the sparrows. Not time, but experience will show that, although
indeed a simile, this is no hyperbole.
"I will leave your father to deal with you, Hesper," said her
mother, and rose.
Up to this point, Mortimer children had often resisted their
mother; beyond this point, never more than once.
"No, please, mamma!" returned Hesper, in a tone of expostulation.
"I have spoken my mind, but that is no treason. As my father has
referred Mr. Redmain to me, I would rather deal with him."
Lady Malice was herself afraid of her husband. There is many a
woman, otherwise courageous enough, who will rather endure the
worst and most degrading, than encounter articulate insult. The
mere lack of conscience gives the scoundrel advantage
incalculable over the honest man; the lack of refinement gives a
similar advantage to the cad over the gentleman; the combination
of the two lacks elevates the husband and father into an
autocrat. Hesper was not one her world would have counted weak;
she had physical courage enough; she rode well, and without fear;
she sat calm in the dentist's chair; she would have fought with
knife and pistol against violence to the death; and yet, rather
than encounter the brutality of an evil-begotten race
concentrated in her father, she would yield herself to a
defilement eternally more defiling than that she would both kill
and die to escape.
"Give me a few hours first, mamma," she begged. "Don't let him
come to me just yet. For all your hardness, you feel a little for
me--don't you?"
"Duty is always hard, my child," said Lady Margaret. She entirely
believed it, and looked on herself as a martyr, a pattern of
self-devotion and womanly virtue. But, had she been certain of
escaping discovery, she would have slipped the koh-i-noor into
her belt-pouch, notwithstanding. Never once in her life had she
done or abstained from doing a thing _because that thing was
right or was wrong. Such a person, be she as old and as hard as
the hills, is mere putty in the fingers of Beelzebub. Hesper rose
and went to her own room. There, for a long hour, she sat--with
the skin of her fair face drawn tight over muscles rigid as
marble--sat without moving, almost without thinking--in a mere
hell of disgusted anticipation. She neither stormed nor wept; her
life went smoldering on; she nerved herself to a brave endurance,
instead of a far braver resistance.
I fancy Hesper would have been a little shocked if one had called
her an atheist. She went to church most Sundays--when in the
country; for, in the opinion of Lady Margaret, it was not
decorous there to omit the ceremony: where you have
influence you ought to set a good example--of hypocrisy, namely!
But, if any one had suggested to Hesper a certain old-fashioned
use of her chamber-door, she would have inwardly laughed at the
absurdity. But, then, you see, her chamber was no closet, but a
large and stately room; and, besides, how, alas! could the
child of Roger and Lady M. Alice Mortimer know that in the
silence was hearing--that in the vacancy was a power waiting to
be sought? Hesper was not much alone, and here was a chance it
was a pity she should lose; but, when she came to herself with a
sigh, it was not to pray, and, when she rose, it was to ring the
bell.
A good many minutes passed before it was answered. She paced the
room--swiftly; she could sit, but she could not walk slowly. With
her hands to her head, she went sweeping up and down. Her maid's
knock arrested her before her toilet-table, with her back to the
door. In a voice of perfect composure, she desired the woman to
ask Miss Yolland to come to her.
Entering with a slight stoop from the waist, Sepia, with a long,
rapid, yet altogether graceful step, bore down upon Hesper like a
fast-sailing cutter over broad waves, relaxing her speed as she
approached her.
"Here I am, Hesper!" she said.
"Sepia," said Hesper, "I am sold."
Miss Yolland gave a little laugh, showing about the half of her
splendid teeth--a laugh to which Hesper was accustomed, but the
meaning of which she did not understand--nor would, without
learning a good deal that were better left unlearned. "To Mr.
Redmain, of course!" she said.
Hesper nodded.
"When are you going to be--"--she was about to say "cut up" but
there was a something occasionally visible in Hesper that now and
then checked one of her less graceful coarsenesses. "When is the
purchase to be completed?" she asked, instead.
"Good Heavens, Sepia! don't be so heartless!" cried Hesper.
"Things are not quite so bad as that! I am not yet in the hell of
knowing that. The day is not fixed for the great red dragon to
make a meal of me."
"I see you were not asleep in church, as I thought, all the time
of the sermon, last Sunday," said Sepia.
"I did my best, but I could not sleep: every time little Mowbray
mentioned the beast, I thought of Mr. Redmain; and it made me too
miserable to sleep."
"Poor Hesper!--Well! let us hope that, like the beast in the
fairy-tale, he will turn out a man after all."
"My heart will break," cried Hesper, throwing herself into a
chair. "Pity me, Sepia; you love me a little."
A slight shadow darkened yet more Sepia's shadowy brow.
"Hesper," she said, gravely, "you never told me there was
anything of that sort! Who is it?"
"Mr. Redmain, of course!--I don't know what you mean, Sepia."
"You said your heart was breaking: who is it for?" asked Sepia,
almost imperiously, and raising her voice a little.
"Sepia!" cried Hesper, in bewilderment.
"Why should your heart be breaking, except you loved somebody?"
"Because I hate him," answered Hesper.
"Pooh! is that all?" returned Miss Yolland. "If there were
anybody you wanted--then I grant!"
"Sepia!" said Hesper, almost entreatingly, "I can not bear to be
teased to-day. Do be open with me. You always puzzle me so! I
don't understand you a bit better than the first day you came to
us. I have got used to you--that is all. Tell me--are you my
friend, or are you in league with mamma? I have my doubts. I
can't help it, Sepia."
She looked in her face pitifully. Miss Yolland looked at her
calmly, as if waiting for her to finish.
"I thought you would--not help me," Hesper went on, "--that no
one can except God--he could strike me dead; but I did think you
would feel for me a little. I hate Mr. Redmain, and I loathe
myself. If you laugh at me, I shall take poison."
"I wouldn't do that," returned Miss Yolland, quite gravely, and
as if she had already contemplated the alternative; "--that is,
not so long as there was a turn of the game left."
"The game!" echoed Hesper. "--Playing for love with the devil!--I
wish the game were yours, as you call it!"
"Mine I'd make it, if I had it to play," returned Sepia. "I wish
I were the other player instead of you, but the man hates me.
Some men do.--Come," she went on, "I will be open with you,
Hesper; you don't hang for thoughts in England. I will tell you
what I would do with a man I hated--that is, if I was compelled
to marry him; it would hardly be fair otherwise, and I have a
weakness for fair play.--I would give him absolute fair play."
The last three words she spoke with a strange expression of
mingled scorn and jest, then paused, and seemed to have said all
she meant to say.
"Go on," sighed Hesper; "you amuse me." Her tone expressed
anything but amusement. "What would a woman of your experience do
in my place?"
Sepia fixed a momentary look on Hesper; the words seemed to have
stung her. She knew well enough that, if Lady Malice came to know
anything of her real history, she would have bare time to pack up
her small belongings. She wanted Hesper married, that she might
go with her into the world again; at the same time, she feared
her marriage with Mr. Redmain would hardly favor her wishes. But
she could not with prudence do anything expressly to prevent it;
while she might even please Mr. Redmain a little, if she were
supposed to have used influence on his side. That, however, must
not seem to Hesper. Sepia did not yet know in fact upon what
ground she had to build.
For some time she had been trying to get nearer to Hesper, but--
much like Hesper's experience with her--had found herself
strangely baffled, she could not tell how--the barrier being
simply the half innocence, half ignorance, of Hesper. When minds
are not the same, words do not convey between them.
She gave a ringing laugh, throwing back her head, and showing all
her fine teeth.
"You want to know what I would do with a man I hated, as you
say you hate Mr. Redmain?--I would send for him at once--
not wait for him to come to me--and entreat him, as he loved
me, to deliver me from the dire necessity of obeying my
father. If he were a gentleman, as I hope he may be, he would
manage to get me out of it somehow, and wouldn't compromise me a
hair's breadth. But, that is, if I were you. If I were
myself in your circumstances, and hated him as you do,
that would not serve my turn. I would ask him all the same to set
me free, but I would behave myself so that he could not do it.
While I begged him, I mean, I should make him feel that he could
not--should make him absolutely determined to marry me, at any
price to him, and at whatever cost to me. He should say to
himself that I did not mean what I said--as, indeed, for the sake
of my revenge, I should not. For that I would give anything--
supposing always, don't you know? that I hated him as you do Mr.
Redmain. He should declare to me it was impossible; that he would
die rather than give up the most precious desire of his life--and
all that rot, you know. I would tell him I hated him--only so
that he should not believe me. I would say to him, 'Release me,
Mr. Redmain, or I will make you repent it. I have given you fair
warning. I have told you I hated you.' He should persist, should
marry me, and then I would."
"Would what?"
"Do as I said."
"But what?"
"Make him repent it."
With the words, Miss Yolland broke into a second fit of laughter,
and, turning from Hesper, went, with a kind of loitering,
strolling pace toward the door, glancing round more than once,
each time with a fresh bubble rather than ripple in her laughter.
Whether it was all nonsensical merriment, or whether the author
of laughter without fun, Beelzebub himself, was at the moment
stirring in her, Hesper could not have told; as it was, she sat
staring after her, unable even to think. Just as she reached the
door, however, she turned quickly, and, with the smile of a
hearty, innocent child, or something very like it, ran back to
Hesper, threw her arms round her, and said:
"There, now! I've done for you what I could: I have made you
forget the odious man for a moment. I was curious to know whether
I could not make a bride forget her bridegroom. The other thing
is too easy."
"What other thing?"
"To make a bridegroom forget his bride, of course, you silly
child!--But there I am, off again! when really it is time to be
serious, and come to the only important point in the matter.--In
what shade of purity do you think of ascending the funeral pyre?
--In absolute white?--or rose-tinged?--or cream-colored!--or gold-
suspect?--Eh, happy bride?"
As she ceased, she turned her head away, pulled out her
handkerchief, and whimpered a little.
"Sepia!" said Hesper, annoyed, "you are a worse goose than I
thought you! What have you got to cry about? You
have not got to marry him!"
"No; I wish I had!" returned Sepia, wiping her eyes. "Then I
shouldn't lose you. I should take care of that."
"And am I likely to gain such a friend in Mr. Redmain as to
afford the loss of the only other friend I have?" said
Hesper, calmly.
"Ah, Hesper! a sad experience has taught me differently, The
moment you are married to the man--as married you will be--you
all are--bluster as you may--that moment you will begin to change
into a wife--a domesticated animal, that is--a tame tabby.
Unwilling a woman must be to confess herself only the better half
of a low-bred brute, with a high varnish--or not, as the case may
be; and there is nothing left her to do but set herself to find
out the wretch's virtues, or, as he hasn't got any, to invent for
him the least unlikely ones. She wants for her own sake to
believe in him, don't you know? Then she begins to repent having
said hard words of the poor gentleman. The next thing, of course,
will be, that you begin to hate the person, to whom you said
them, and to persuade yourself she drew them out of you; and so
you break off all communication with the obnoxious person; who
being, in the present instance, that black-faced sheep, Sepia
Yolland, she is very sorry beforehand, and hates Mr. Redmain with
all her heart; first, because Hesper Mortimer hates him, and
next, but twice as much, because she is going to love him. It is
a great pity you should have him, Hesper. I wish you would
hand him over to me. I shouldn't mind what he was. I
should soon tame him."
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself," said Hesper, with
righteous indignation. "_You would not mind what lie was!_"
Sepia laughed--this time her curious half-laugh.
"If I did, I wouldn't marry him, Hesper," she said. "Which is
worse--not to mind, and marry him; or to mind, and marry him all
the same? Eh, Cousin Hesper Mortimer?"
"I can't make you out, Sepia!" said Hesper. "I believe I
never shall."
"Very likely. Give it up?"
"Quite."
"The best thing you could do. I can't always make myself out.
But, then, I always give it up directly, and so it does me no
harm. But it's ten times worse to worry your poor little heart to
rags about such a man as that; he's not worth a thought from a
grand creature like you. Where's the use, besides? Would you
stand staring at your medicine a whole day before the time for
taking it comes? I wouldn't have my right leg cut off because
that is the side my dog walks on, and dogs go mad! Slip, cup, and
lip--don't you know? The man may be underground long before the
wedding-day: he's anything but sound, they tell me. But it would
be far better soon after it, of course. Think only--a young
widow, rich, and not a straw the worse!"
"Sepia, I can't for the life of me tell whether you are a Job's
comforter or the devil's advocate."
"Not the latter, my child; for I want to see you emerge a saint
from the miseries of matrimony. But, whatever you do, Hesper,
don't break your heart, for you will find it hard to mend. I
broke mine once, and have been mad ever since."
"What is the use of saying that to me, when you know I have to
marry the man?"
"I never said you were not to marry him; I said you were not to
break your heart. Marriage is nothing so long as you do not make
a heart affair of it; that hurts; and, as you are not in love,
there is no occasion for it at all."
"Marriage is nothing, Sepia! Is it nothing to be tied to a man--
to any man--for all your life?"
"That's as you take it. Nobody makes so much of it nowadays as
they used. The clergy themselves, who are at the bottom of all
the business, don't fuss about every trifle in the prayer-book.
They sign the articles, and have done with it--meaning, of
course, to break them, if they stand in their way."
Hesper rose in anger.
"How dare you--" she began.
"Good gracious!" cried Sepia, "you don't imagine I meant anything
so wicked! How could you let such a thing come into your head? I
declare you are quite dangerous to talk to!"
"It's such a horrible business," said Hesper, "it seems to make
one capable of anything wicked, only to think about it. I would
rather not say another word on the subject."
A shudder ran through her, as if at the sight of some hideously
offensive object.
"That would be the best thing," said Sepia, "if it meant not
think more about it. Everything is better for not being thought
about. I would do anything to comfort you, dear. I would marry
him for you, if that would do; but I fear it would scarcely meet
the views of Herr Papa. If I could please the beast as well--and
I think I should in time--I would willingly hand him the
purchase-money. But, of course, he would scorn to touch it,
except as the proceeds of the bona-fide sale of his own
flesh and blood."
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