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THE BISHOP'S BASIN.
I went home very quietly, as I say, thinking about the strange
elements that not only combine to make life, but must be combined in
our idea of life, before we can form a true theory about it.
Now-a-days, the vulgar notion of what is life-like in any annals is
to be realised by sternly excluding everything but the commonplace;
and the means, at least, are often attained, with this much of the
end as well--that the appearance life bears to vulgar minds is
represented with a wonderful degree of success. But I believe that
this is, at least, quite as unreal a mode of representing life as
the other extreme, wherein the unlikely, the romantic, and the
uncommon predominate. I doubt whether there is a single history--if
one could only get at the whole of it--in which there is not a
considerable admixture of the unlikely become fact, including a few
strange coincidences; of the uncommon, which, although striking at
first, has grown common from familiarity with its presence as our
own; with even, at least, some one more or less rosy touch of what
we call the romantic. My own conviction is, that the poetry is far
the deepest in us, and that the prose is only broken-down poetry;
and likewise that to this our lives correspond. The poetic region is
the true one, and just, THEREFORE, the incredible one to the lower
order of mind; for although every mind is capable of the truth, or
rather capable of becoming capable of the truth, there may lie ages
between its capacity and the truth. As you will hear some people
read poetry so that no mortal could tell it was poetry, so do some
people read their own lives and those of others.
I fell into these reflections from comparing in my own mind my
former experiences in visiting my parishioners with those of that
day. True, I had never sat down to talk with one of them without
finding that that man or that woman had actually a HISTORY, the most
marvellous and important fact to a human being; nay, I had found
something more or less remarkable in every one of their histories,
so that I was more than barely interested in each of them. And as I
made more acquaintance with them, (for I had not been in the
position, or the disposition either, before I came to Marshmallows,
necessary to the gathering of such experiences,) I came to the
conclusion--not that I had got into an extraordinary parish of
characters--but that every parish must be more or less extraordinary
from the same cause. Why did I not use to see such people about me
before? Surely I had undergone a change of some sort. Could it be,
that the trouble I had been going through of late, had opened the
eyes of my mind to the understanding, or rather the simple SEEING,
of my fellow-men?
But the people among whom I had been to-day belonged rather to such
as might be put into a romantic story. Certainly I could not see
much that was romantic in the old lady; and yet, those eyes and that
tight-skinned face--what might they not be capable of in the working
out of a story? And then the place they lived in! Why, it would
hardly come into my ideas of a nineteenth-century country parish at
all. I was tempted to try to persuade myself that all that had
happened, since I rose to look out of the window in the old house,
had been but a dream. For how could that wooded dell have come there
after all? It was much too large for a quarry. And that madcap
girl--she never flung herself into the pond!--it could not be. And
what could the book have been that the lady with the sea-blue eyes
was reading? Was that a real book at all? No. Yes. Of course it was.
But what was it? What had that to do with the matter? It might turn
out to be a very commonplace book after all. No; for commonplace
books are generally new, or at least in fine bindings. And here was
a shabby little old book, such as, if it had been commonplace, would
not have been likely to be the companion of a young lady at the
bottom of a quarry--
"A savage place, as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon lover."
I know all this will sound ridiculous, especially that quotation
from Kubla Khan coming after the close of the preceding sentence;
but it is only so much the more like the jumble of thoughts that
made a chaos of my mind as I went home. And then for that terrible
pool, and subterranean passage, and all that--what had it all to do
with this broad daylight, and these dying autumn leaves? No doubt
there had been such places. No doubt there were such places
somewhere yet. No doubt this was one of them. But, somehow or other,
it would not come in well. I had no intention of GOING IN FOR--that
is the phrase now--going in for the romantic. I would take the
impression off by going to see Weir the carpenter's old father.
Whether my plan was successful or not, I shall leave my reader to
judge.
I found Weir busy as usual, but not with a coffin this time. He was
working at a window-sash. "Just like life," I thought--tritely
perhaps. "The other day he was closing up in the outer darkness, and
now he is letting in the light."
"It's a long time since you was here last, sir," he said, but
without a smile.
Did he mean a reproach? If so, I was more glad of that reproach than
I would have been of the warmest welcome, even from Old Rogers. The
fact was that, having a good deal to attend to besides, and willing
at the same time to let the man feel that he was in no danger of
being bored by my visits, I had not made use even of my reserve in
the shape of a visit to his father.
"Well," I answered, "I wanted to know something about all my people,
before I paid a second visit to any of them."
"All right, sir. Don't suppose I meant to complain. Only to let you
know you was welcome, sir."
"I've just come from my first visit to Oldcastle Hall. And, to tell
the truth, for I don't like pretences, my visit to-day was not so
much to you as to your father, whom, perhaps, I ought to have called
upon before, only I was afraid of seeming to intrude upon you,
seeing we don't exactly think the same way about some things," I
added--with a smile, I know, which was none the less genuine that I
remember it yet.
And what makes me remember it yet? It is the smile that lighted up
his face in response to mine. For it was more than I looked for. And
his answer helped to fix the smile in my memory.
"You made me think, sir, that perhaps, after all, we were much of
the same way of thinking, only perhaps you was a long way ahead of
me."
Now the man was not right in saying that we were much of the same
way of THINKING; for our opinions could hardly do more than come
within sight of each other; but what he meant was right enough. For
I was certain, from the first, that the man had a regard for the
downright, honest way of things, and I hoped that I too had such a
regard. How much of selfishness and of pride in one's own judgment
might be mixed up with it, both in his case and mine, I had been too
often taken in--by myself, I mean--to be at all careful to
discriminate, provided there was a proportion of real honesty along
with it, which, I felt sure, would ultimately eliminate the other.
For in the moral nest, it is not as with the sparrow and the cuckoo.
The right, the original inhabitant is the stronger; and, however
unlikely at any given point in the history it may be, the sparrow
will grow strong enough to heave the intruding cuckoo overboard. So
I was pleased that the man should do me the honour of thinking I was
right as far as he could see, which is the greatest honour one man
can do another; for it is setting him on his own steed, as the
eastern tyrants used to do. And I was delighted to think that the
road lay open for further and more real communion between us in time
to come.
"Well," I answered, "I think we shall understand each other
perfectly before long. But now I must see your father, if it is
convenient and agreeable."
"My father will be delighted to see you, I know, sir. He can't get
so far as the church on Sundays; but you'll find him much more to
your mind than me. He's been putting ever so many questions to me
about the new parson, wanting me to try whether I couldn't get more
out of you than the old parson. That's the way we talk about you,
you see, sir. You'll understand. And I've never told him that I'd
been to church since you came--I suppose from a bit of pride,
because I had so long lefused to go; but I don't doubt some of the
neighbours have told him, for he never speaks about it now. And I
know he's been looking out for you; and I fancy he's begun to wonder
that the parson was going to see everybody but him. It WILL be a
pleasure to the old man, sir, for he don't see a great many to talk
to; and he's fond of a bit of gossip, is the old man, sir."
So saying, Weir led the way through the shop into a lobby behind,
and thence up what must have been a back-stair of the old house,
into a large room over the workshop. There were bits of old carving
about the walls of the room yet, but, as in the shop below, all had
been whitewashed. At one end stood a bed with chintz curtains and a
warm-looking counterpane of rich faded embroidery. There was a bit
of carpet by the bedside, and another bit in front of the fire; and
there the old man sat, on one side, in a high-backed not very easy-
looking chair. With a great effort he managed to rise as I
approached him, notwithstanding my entreaties that he would not
move. He looked much older when on his feet, for he was bent nearly
double, in which posture the marvel was how he could walk at all.
For he did totter a few steps to meet me, without even the aid of a
stick, and, holding out a thin, shaking hand, welcomed me with an
air of breeding rarely to be met with in his station in society. But
the chief part of this polish sprung from the inbred kindliness of
his nature, which was manifest in the expression of his noble old
countenance. Age is such a different thing in different natures! One
man seems to grow more and more selfish as he grows older; and in
another the slow fire of time seems only to consume, with fine,
imperceptible gradations, the yet lingering selfishness in him,
letting the light of the kingdom, which the Lord says is within,
shine out more and more, as the husk grows thin and is ready to fall
off, that the man, like the seed sown, may pierce the earth of this
world, and rise into the pure air and wind and dew of the second
life. The face of a loving old man is always to me like a morning
moon, reflecting the yet unrisen sun of the other world, yet fading
before its approaching light, until, when it does rise, it pales and
withers away from our gaze, absorbed in the source of its own
beauty. This old man, you may see, took my fancy wonderfully, for
even at this distance of time, when I am old myself, the
recollection of his beautiful old face makes me feel as if I could
write poetry about him.
"I'm blithe to see ye, sir," said he. "Sit ye down, sir."
And, turning, he pointed to his own easy-chair; and I then saw his
profile. It was delicate as that of Dante, which in form it
marvellously resembled. But all the sternness which Dante's evil
times had generated in his prophetic face was in this old man's
replaced by a sweetness of hope that was lovely to behold.
"No, Mr Weir," I said, "I cannot take your chair. The Bible tells us
to rise up before the aged, not to turn them out of their seats."
"It would do me good to see you sitting in my cheer, sir. The pains
that my son Tom there takes to keep it up as long as the old man may
want it! It's a good thing I bred him to the joiner's trade, sir.
Sit ye down, sir. The cheer'll hold ye, though I warrant it won't
last that long after I be gone home. Sit ye down, sir."
Thus entreated, I hesitated no longer, but took the old man's seat.
His son brought another chair for him, and he sat down opposite the
fire and close to me. Thomas then went back to his work, leaving us
alone.
"Ye've had some speech wi' my son Tom," said the old man, the moment
he was gone, leaning a little towards me. "It's main kind o' you,
sir, to take up kindly wi' poor folks like us."
"You don't say it's kind of a person to do what he likes best," I
answered. "Besides, it's my duty to know all my people."
"Oh yes, sir, I know that. But there's a thousand ways ov doin' the
same thing. I ha' seen folks, parsons and others, 'at made a great
show ov bein' friendly to the poor, ye know, sir; and all the time
you could see, or if you couldn't see you could tell without seein',
that they didn't much regard them in their hearts; but it was a sort
of accomplishment to be able to talk to the poor, like, after their
own fashion. But the minute an ould man sees you, sir, he believes
that you MEAN it, sir, whatever it is. For an ould man somehow comes
to know things like a child. They call it a second childhood, don't
they, sir? And there are some things worth growin' a child again to
get a hould ov again."
"I only hope what you say may be true--about me, I mean."
"Take my word for it, sir. You have no idea how that boy of mine,
Tom there, did hate all the clergy till you come. Not that he's
anyway favourable to them yet, only he'll say nothin' again' you,
sir. He's got an unfortunate gift o' seein' all the faults first,
sir; and when a man is that way given, the faults always hides the
other side, so that there's nothing but faults to be seen."
"But I find Thomas quite open to reason."
"That's because you understand him, sir, and know how to give him
head. He tould me of the talk you had with him. You don't bait him.
You don't say, 'You must come along wi' me,' but you turns and goes
along wi' him. He's not a bad fellow at all, is Tom; but he will
have the reason for everythink. Now I never did want the reason for
everything. I was content to be tould a many things. But Tom, you
see, he was born with a sore bit in him somewheres, I don't rightly
know wheres; and I don't think he rightly knows what's the matter
with him himself."
"I dare say you have a guess though, by this time, Mr. Weir," I
said; "and I think I have a guess too."
"Well, sir, if he'd only give in, I think he would be far happier.
But he can't see his way clear."
"You must give him time, you know. The fact is, he doesn't feel at
home yet.' And how can he, so long as he doesn't know his own
Father?"
"I'm not sure that I rightly understand you," said the old man,
looking bewildered and curious.
"I mean," I answered, "that till a man knows that he is one of God's
family, living in God's house, with God up-stairs, as it were, while
he is at his work or his play in a nursery below-stairs, he can't
feel comfortable. For a man could not be made that should stand
alone, like some of the beasts. A man must feel a head over him,
because he's not enough to satisfy himself, you know. Thomas just
wants faith; that is, he wants to feel that there is a loving Father
over him, who is doing things all well and right, if we could only
understand them, though it really does not look like it sometimes."
"Ah, sir, I might have understood you well enough, if my poor old
head hadn't been started on a wrong track. For I fancied for the
moment that you were just putting your finger upon the sore place in
Tom's mind. There's no use in keeping family misfortunes from a
friend like you, sir. That boy has known his father all his life;
but I was nearly half his age before I knew mine."
"Strange!" I said, involuntarily almost.
"Yes, sir; strange you may well say. A strange story it is. The Lord
help my mother! I beg yer pardon, sir. I'm no Catholic. But that
prayer will come of itself sometimes. As if it could be of any use
now! God forgive me!"
"Don't you be afraid, Mr Weir, as if God was ready to take offence
at what comes naturally, as you say. An ejaculation of love is not
likely to offend Him who is so grand that He is always meek and
lowly of heart, and whose love is such that ours is a mere faint
light--'a little glooming light much like a shade'--as one of our
own poets says, beside it."
"Thank you, Mr Walton. That's a real comfortable word, sir. And I am
heart-sure it's true, sir. God be praised for evermore! He IS good,
sir; as I have known in my poor time, sir. I don't believe there
ever was one that just lifted his eyes and looked up'ards, instead
of looking down to the ground, that didn't get some comfort, to go
on with, as it were--the ready--money of comfort, as it
were--though it might be none to put in the bank, sir."
"That's true enough," I said. "Then your father and mother--?"
And here I hesitated.
"Were never married, sir," said the old man promptly, as if he would
relieve me from an embarrassing position. "_I_ couldn't help it. And
I'm no less the child of my Father in heaven for it. For if He
hadn't made me, I couldn't ha' been their son, you know, sir. So
that He had more to do wi' the makin' o' me than they had; though
mayhap, if He had His way all out, I might ha' been the son o'
somebody else. But, now that things be so, I wouldn't have liked
that at all, sir; and bein' once born so, I would not have e'er
another couple of parents in all England, sir, though I ne'er knew
one o' them. And I do love my mother. And I'm so sorry for my father
that I love him too, sir. And if I could only get my boy Tom to
think as I do, I would die like a psalm-tune on an organ, sir."
"But it seems to me strange," I said, "that your son should think so
much of what is so far gone by. Surely he would not want another
father than you, now. He is used to his position in life. And there
can be nothing cast up to him about his birth or descent."
"That's all very true, sir, and no doubt it would be as you say. But
there has been other things to keep his mind upon the old affair.
Indeed, sir, we have had the same misfortune all over again among
the young people. And I mustn't say anything more about it; only my
boy Tom has a sore heart."
I knew at once to what he alluded; for I could not have been about
in my parish all this time without learning that the strange
handsome woman in the little shop was the daughter of Thomas Weir,
and that she was neither wife nor widow. And it now occurred to me
for the first time that it was a likeness to her little boy that had
affected me so pleasantly when I first saw Thomas, his grandfather.
The likeness to his great-grandfather, which I saw plainly enough,
was what made the other fact clear to me. And at the same moment I
began to be haunted with a flickering sense of a third likeness
which I could not in the least fix or identify.
"Perhaps," I said, "he may find some good come out of that too."
"Well, who knows, sir?"
"I think," I said, "that if we do evil that good may come, the good
we looked for will never come thereby. But once evil is done, we may
humbly look to Him who bringeth good out of evil, and wait. Is your
granddaughter Catherine in bad health? She looks so delicate!"
"She always had an uncommon look. But what she looks like now, I
don't know. I hear no complaints; but she has never crossed this
door since we got her set up in that shop. She never conies near her
father or her sister, though she lets them, leastways her sister, go
and see her. I'm afraid Tom has been rayther unmerciful, with her.
And if ever he put a bad name upon her in her hearing, I know, from
what that lass used to be as a young one, that she wouldn't be
likely to forget it, and as little likely to get over it herself, or
pass it over to another, even her own father. I don't believe they
do more nor nod to one another when they meet in the village. It's
well even if they do that much. It's my belief there's some people
made so hard that they never can forgive anythink."
"How did she get into the trouble? Who is the father of her child?"
"Nay, that no one knows for certain; though there be suspicions, and
one of them, no doubt, correct. But, I believe, fire wouldn't drive
his name out at her mouth. I know my lass. When she says a thing,
she 'll stick to it."
I asked no more questions. But, after a short pause, the old man
went on.
"I shan't soon forget the night I first heard about my father and
mother. That was a night! The wind was roaring like a mad beast
about the house;--not this house, sir, but the great house over the
way."
"You don't mean Oldcastle Hall?" I said.
"'Deed I do, sir," returned the old man, "This house here belonged
to the same family at one time; though when I was born it was
another branch of the family, second cousins or something, that
lived in it. But even then it was something on to the downhill road,
I believe."
"But," I said, fearing my question might have turned the old man
aside from a story worth hearing, "never mind all that now, if you
please. I am anxious to hear all about that night. Do go on. You
were saying the wind was blowing about the old house."
"Eh, sir, it was roaring!-roaring as if it was mad with rage! And
every now and then it would come down the chimley like out of a gun,
and blow the smoke and a'most the fire into the middle of the
housekeeper's room. For the housekeeper had been giving me my
supper. I called her auntie, then; and didn't know a bit that she
wasn't my aunt really. I was at that time a kind of a
under-gamekeeper upon the place, and slept over the stable. But I
fared of the best, for I was a favourite with the old woman--I
suppose because I had given her plenty of trouble in my time. That's
always the way, sir.--Well, as I was a-saying, when the wind stopped
for a moment, down came the rain with a noise that sounded like a
regiment of cavalry on the turnpike road t'other side of the hill.
And then up the wind got again, and swept the rain away, and took it
all in its own hand again, and went on roaring worse than ever. 'You
'll be wet afore you get across the yard, Samuel,' said auntie,
looking very prim in her long white apron, as she sat on the other
side of the little round table before the fire, sipping a drop of
hot rum and water, which she always had before she went to bed.
'You'll be wet to the skin, Samuel,' she said. 'Never mind,' says I.
'I'm not salt, nor yet sugar; and I'll be going, auntie, for you'll
be wanting your bed.'-'Sit ye still,' said she. 'I don't want my bed
yet.' And there she sat, sipping at her rum and water; and there I
sat, o' the other side, drinking the last of a pint of October, she
had gotten me from the cellar--for I had been out in the wind all
day. 'It was just such a night as this,' said she, and then stopped
again.--But I'm wearying you, sir, with my long story."
"Not in the least," I answered. "Quite the contrary. Pray tell it
out your own way. You won't tire me, I assure you."
So the old man went on.
"' It was just such a night as this,' she began again--'leastways it
was snow and not rain that was coming down, as if the Almighty was
a-going to spend all His winter-stock at oncet.'--'What happened
such a night, auntie?' I said. 'Ah, my lad!' said she, 'ye may well
ask what happened. None has a better right. You happened. That's
all.'--'Oh, that's all, is it, auntie?' I said, and laughed. 'Nay,
nay, Samuel,' said she, quite solemn, 'what is there to laugh at,
then? I assure you, you was anything but welcome.'-- 'And why wasn't
I welcome?' I said. 'I couldn't help it, you know. I'm very sorry to
hear I intruded,' I said, still making game of it, you see; for I
always did like a joke. 'Well,' she said, 'you certainly wasn't
wanted. But I don't blame you, Samuel, and I hope you won't blame
me.'--' What do you mean, auntie ?' I mean this, that it's my fault,
if so be that fault it is, that you're sitting there now, and not
lying, in less bulk by a good deal, at the bottom of the Bishop's
Basin.' That's what they call a deep pond at the foot of the old
house, sir; though why or wherefore, I'm sure I don't know. 'Most
extraordinary, auntie!' I said, feeling very queer, and as if I
really had no business to be there. 'Never you mind, my dear,' says
she; 'there you are, and you can take care of yourself now as well
as anybody.'--'But who wanted to drown me?' 'Are you sure you can
forgive him, if I tell you?'--'Sure enough, suppose he was sitting
where you be now,' I answered. 'It was, I make no doubt, though I
can't prove it,--I am morally certain it was your own father.' I
felt the skin go creepin' together upon my head, and I couldn't
speak. 'Yes, it was, child; and it's time you knew all about it.
Why, you don't know who your own father was!'--'No more I do,' I
said; 'and I never cared to ask, somehow. I thought it was all
right, I suppose. But I wonder now that I never did.'--'Indeed you
did many a time, when you was a mere boy, like; but I suppose, as
you never was answered, you give it up for a bad job, and forgot all
about it, like a wise man. You always was a wise child, Samuel.' So
the old lady always said, sir. And I was willing to believe she was
right, if I could. 'But now,' said she, 'it's time you knew all
about it.--Poor Miss Wallis!--I'm no aunt of yours, my boy, though I
love you nearly as well, I think, as if I was; for dearly did I love
your mother. She was a beauty, and better than she was beautiful,
whatever folks may say. The only wrong thing, I'm certain, that she
ever did, was to trust your father too much. But I must see and give
you the story right through from beginning to end.--Miss Wallis, as
I came to know from her own lips, was the daughter of a country
attorney, who had a good practice, and was likely to leave her well
off. Her mother died when she was a little girl. It's not easy
getting on without a mother, my boy. So she wasn't taught much of
the best sort, I reckon. When her father died early, and she was
left atone, the only thing she could do was to take a governess's
place, and she came to us. She never got on well with the children,
for they were young and self willed and rude, and would not learn to
do as they were bid. I never knew one o' them shut the door when
they went out of this room. And, from having had all her own way at
home, with plenty of servants, and money to spend, it was a sore
change to her. But she was a sweet creature, that she was. She did
look sorely tried when Master Freddy would get on the back of her
chair, and Miss Gusta would lie down on the rug, and never stir for
all she could say to them, but only laugh at her.--To be sure!' And
then auntie would take a sip at her rum and water, and sit
considering old times like a static. And I sat as if all my head was
one great ear, and I never spoke a word. And auntie began again.
'The way I came to know so much about her was this. Nobody, you see,
took any notice or care of her. For the children were kept away with
her in the old house, and my lady wasn't one to take trouble about
anybody till once she stood in her way, and then she would just
shove her aside or crush her like a spider, and ha' done with
her.'--They have always been a proud and a fierce race, the
Oldcastles, sir," said Weir, taking up the speech in his own person,
"and there's been a deal o' breedin in-and-in amongst them, and that
has kept up the worst of them. The men took to the women of their
own sort somehow, you see. The lady up at the old Hall now is a
Crowfoot. I'll just tell you one thing the gardener told me about
her years ago, sir. She had a fancy for hyacinths in her rooms in
the spring, and she Had some particular fine ones; and a lady of her
acquaintance begged for some of them. And what do you think she did?
She couldn't refuse them, and she couldn't bear any one to have them
as good as she. And so she sent the hyacinth-roots--but she boiled
'em first. The gardener told me himself, sir.--'And so, when the
poor thing,' said auntie, 'was taken with a dreadful cold, which was
no wonder if you saw the state of the window in the room she had to
sleep in, and which I got old Jones to set to rights and paid him
for it out of my own pocket, else he wouldn't ha' done it at all,
for the family wasn't too much in the way or the means either of
paying their debts--well, there she was, and nobody minding her, and
of course it fell to me to look after her. It would have made your
heart bleed to see the poor thing flung all of a heap on her bed,
blue with cold and coughing. "My dear!" I said; and she burst out
crying, and from that moment there was confidence between us. I made
her as warm and as comfortable as I could, but I had to nurse her
for a fortnight before she was able to do anything again. She didn't
shirk her work though, poor thing. It was a heartsore to me to see
the poor young thing, with her sweet eyes and her pale face, talking
away to those children, that were more like wild cats than human
beings. She might as well have talked to wild cats, I'm sure. But I
don't think she was ever so miserable again as she must have been
before her illness; for she used often to come and see me of an
evening, and she would sit there where you are sitting now for an
hour at a time, without speaking, her thin white hands lying folded
in her lap, and her eyes fixed on the fire. I used to wonder what
she could be thinking about, and I had made up my mind she was not
long for this world; when all at once it was announced that Miss
Oldcastle, who had been to school for some time, was coming home;
and then we began to see a great deal of company, and for month
after month the house was more or less filled with visitors, so that
my time was constantly taken up, and I saw much less of poor Miss
Wallis than I had seen before. But when we did meet on some of the
back stairs, or when she came to my room for a few minutes before
going to bed, we were just as good friends as ever. And I used to
say, "I wish this scurry was over, my dear, that we might have our
old times again." And she would smile and say something sweet. But I
was surprised to see that her health began to come back--at least so
it seemed to me, for her eyes grew brighter and a flush came upon
her pale face, and though the children were as tiresome as ever, she
didn't seem to mind it so much. But indeed she had not very much to
do with them out of school hours now; for when the spring came on,
they would be out and about the place with their sister or one of
their brothers; and indeed, out of doors it would have been
impossible for Miss Wallis to do anything with them. Some of the
visitors would take to them too, for they behaved so badly to nobody
as to Miss Wallis, and indeed they were clever children, and could
be engaging enough when they pleased.--But then I had a blow,
Samuel. It was a lovely spring night, just after the sun was down,
and I wanted a drop of milk fresh from the cow for something that I
was making for dinner the next day; so I went through the
kitchen-garden and through the belt of young larches to go to the
shippen. But when I got among the trees, who should I see at the
other end of the path that went along, but Miss Wallis walking
arm-in-arm with Captain Crowfoot, who was just home from India,
where he had been with Lord Clive. The captain was a man about two
or three and thirty, a relation of the family, and the son of Sir
Giles Crowfoot'--who lived then in this old house, sir, and had but
that one son, my father, you see, sir.--'And it did give me a turn,'
said my aunt, 'to see her walking with him, for I felt as sure as
judgment that no good could come of it. For the captain had not the
best of characters--that is, when people talked about him in chimney
corners, and such like, though he was a great favourite with
everybody that knew nothing about him. He was a fine, manly,
handsome fellow, with a smile that, as people said, no woman could
resist, though I'm sure it would have given me no trouble to resist
it, whatever they may mean by that, for I saw that that same smile
was the falsest thing of all the false things about him. All the
time he was smiling, you would have thought he was looking at
himself in a glass. He was said to have gathered a power of money in
India, somehow or other. But I don't know, only I don't think he
would have been the favourite he was with my lady if he hadn't. And
reports were about, too, of the ways and means by which he had made
the money; some said by robbing the poor heathen creatures; and some
said it was only that his brother officers didn't approve of his
speculating as he did in horses and other things. I don't know
whether officers are so particular. At all events, this was a fact,
for it was one of his own servants that told me, not thinking any
harm or any shame of it. He had quarrelled with a young ensign in
the regiment. On which side the wrong was, I don't know. But he
first thrashed him most unmercifully, and then called him out, as
they say. And when the poor fellow appeared, he could scarcely see
out of his eyes, and certainly couldn't take anything like an aim.
And he shot him dead,--did Captain Crowfoot.'-Think of hearing that
about one's own father, sir! But I never said a word, for I hadn't a
word to say.--'Think of that, Samuel,' said my aunt, 'else you won't
believe what I am going to tell you. And you won't even then, I dare
say. But I must tell you, nevertheless and notwithstanding.--Well, I
felt as if the earth was sinking away from under the feet of me, and
I stood and stared at them. And they came on, never seeing me, and
actually went close past me and never saw me; at least, if he saw me
he took no notice, for I don't suppose that the angel with the
flaming sword would have put him out. But for her, I know she didn't
see me, for her face was down, burning and smiling at once.'--I'm an
old man now, sir, and I never saw my mother; but I can't tell you
the story without feeling as if my heart would break for the poor
young lady.--'I went back to my room,' said my aunt, 'with my empty
jug in my hand, and I sat down as if I had had a stroke, and I never
moved till it was pitch dark and my fire out. It was a marvel to me
afterwards that nobody came near me, for everybody was calling after
me at that time. And it was days before I caught a glimpse of Miss
Wallis again, at least to speak to her. At last, one night she came
to my room; and without a. moment of parley, I said to her, "Oh, my
dear! what was that wretch saying to you?"--"What wretch?" says she,
quite sharp like. "Why, Captain Crowfoot," says I, "to be
sure."--"What have you to say against Captain Crowfoot?" says she,
quite scornful like. So I tumbled out all I had against him in one
breath. She turned awful pale, and she shook from head to foot, but
she was able for all that to say, "Indian servants are known liars,
Mrs Prendergast," says she, "and I don't believe one word of it all.
But I'll ask him, the next time I see him."--"Do so, my dear," I
said, not fearing for myself, for I knew he would not make any fuss
that might bring the thing out into the air, and hoping that it
might lead to a quarrel between them. And the next time I met her,
Samuel--it was in the gallery that takes to the west turret--she
passed me with a nod just, and a blush instead of a smile on her
sweet face. And I didn't blame her, Samuel; but I knew that that
villain had gotten a hold of her. And so I could only cry, and that
I did. Things went on like this for some months. The captain came
and went, stopping a week at a time. Then he stopped for a whole
month, and this was in the first of the summer; and then he said he
was ordered abroad again, and went away. But he didn't go abroad. He
came again in the autumn for the shooting, and began to make up to
Miss Oldcastle, who had grown a line young woman by that time. And
then Miss Wallis began to pine. The captain went away again. Before
long I was certain that if ever young creature was in a consumption,
she was; but she never said a word to me. How ever the poor thing
got on with her work, I can't think, but she grew weaker and weaker.
I took the best care of her she would let me, and contrived that she
should have her meals in her own room; but something was between her
and me that she never spoke a word about herself, and never alluded
to the captain. By and by came the news that the captain and Miss
Oldcastle were to be married in the spring. And Miss Wallis took to
her bed after that; and my lady said she had never been of much use,
and wanted to send her away. But Miss Oldcastle, who was far
superior to any of the rest in her disposition, spoke up for her.
She had been to ask me about her, and I told her the poor thing must
go to a hospital if she was sent away, for she had ne'er a home to
go to. And then she went to see the governess, poor thing! and spoke
very kindly to her; but never a word would Miss Wallis answer; she
only stared at her with great, big, wild-like eyes. And Miss
Oldcastle thought she was out of her mind, and spoke of an asylum.
But I said she hadn't long to live, and if she would get my lady her
mother to consent to take no notice, I would take all the care and
trouble of her. And she promised, and the poor thing was left alone.
I began to think myself her mind must be going, for not a word would
she speak, even to me, though every moment I could spare I was up
with her in her room. Only I was forced to be careful not to be out
of the way when my lady wanted me, for that would have tied me more.
At length one day, as I was settling her pillow for her, she all at
once threw her arms about my neck, and burst into a terrible fit of
crying. She sobbed and panted for breath so dreadfully, that I put
my arms round her and lifted her up to give her relief; and when I
laid her down again, I whispered in her ear, "I know now, my dear.
I'll do all I can for you." She caught hold of my hand and held it
to her lips, and then to her bosom, and cried again, but more
quietly, and all was right between us once more. It was well for
her, poor thing, that she could go to her bed. And I said to myself,
"Nobody need ever know about it; and nobody ever shall if I can help
it." To tell the truth, my hope was that she would die before there
was any need for further concealment. "But people in that condition
seldom die, they say, till all is over; and so she lived on and on,
though plainly getting weaker and weaker.--At the captain's next
visit, the wedding-day was fixed. And after that a circumstance came
about that made me uneasy. A Hindoo servant--the captain called him
his NIGGER always--had been constantly in attendance upon him. I
never could abide the snake-look of the fellow, nor the noiseless
way he went about the house. But this time the captain had a Hindoo
woman with him as well. He said that his man had fallen in with her
in London; that he had known her before; that she had come home as
nurse with an English family, and it would be very nice for his wife
to take her back with her to India, if she could only give her house
room, and make her useful till after the wedding. This was easily
arranged, and he went away to return in three weeks, when the
wedding was to take place. Meantime poor Emily grew fast worse, and
how she held out with that terrible cough of hers I never could
understand--and spitting blood, too, every other hour or so, though
not very much. And now, to my great trouble, with the preparations
for the wedding, I could see yet less of her than before; and when
Miss Oldcastle sent the Hindoo to ask me if she might not sit in the
room with the poor girl, I did not know how to object, though I did
not at all like her being there. I felt a great mistrust of the
woman somehow or other. I never did like blacks, and I never shall.
So she went, and sat by her, and waited on her very kindly--at least
poor Emily said so. I called her Emily because she had begged me,
that she might feel as if her mother were with her, and she was a
child again. I had tried before to find out from her when greater
care would be necessary, but she couldn't tell me anything. I
doubted even if she understood me. I longed to have the wedding over
that I might get rid of the black woman, and have time to take her
place, and get everything prepared. The captain arrived, and his man
with him. And twice I came upon the two blacks in close
conversation.--Well, the wedding-day came. The people went to
church; and while they were there a terrible storm of wind and snow
came on, such that the horses would hardly face it. The captain was
going to take his bride home to his father, Sir Giles's; but, short
as the distance was, before the time came the storm got so dreadful
that no one could think of leaving the house that night. The wind
blew for all the world just as it blows this night, only it was snow
in its mouth, and not rain. Carriage and horses and all would have
been blown off the road for certain. It did blow, to be sure! After
dinner was over and the ladies were gone to the drawing-room, and
the gentlemen had been sitting over their wine for some time, the
butler, William Weir--an honest man, whose wife lived at the
lodge--came to my room looking scared. "Lawks, William!" says I,'
said my aunt, sir, '"whatever is the matter with you?"--"Well, Mrs
Prendergast!" says he, and said no more. "Lawks, William," says I,
"speak out."--"Well," says he, "Mrs Prendergast, it's a strange
wedding, it is! There's the ladies all alone in the
withdrawing-room, and there's the gentlemen calling for more wine,
and cursing and swearing that it's awful to hear. It's my belief
that swords will be drawn afore long."--"Tut!" says I, "William, it
will come the sooner if you don't give them what they want. Go and
get it as fast as you can."--"I don't a'most like goin' down them
stairs alone, in sich a night, ma'am," says he. "Would you mind
coming with me?"--"Dear me, William," says I, "a pretty story to
tell your wife"--she was my own half-sister, and younger than me--"a
pretty story to tell your wife, that you wanted an old body like me
to go and take care of you in your own cellar," says I. "But I'll go
with you, if you like; for, to tell the truth, it's a terrible
night." And so down we went, and brought up six bottles more of the
best port. And I really didn't wonder, when I was down there, and
heard the dull roar of the wind against the rock below, that William
didn't much like to go alone.--When he went back with the wine, the
captain said, "William, what kept you so long? Mr Centlivre says
that you were afraid to go down into the cellar." Now, wasn't that
odd, for it was a real fact? Before William could reply, Sir Giles
said, "A man might well be afraid to go anywhere alone in a night
like this." Whereupon the captain cried, with an oath, that he would
go down the underground stair, and into every vault on the way, for
the wager of a guinea. And there the matter, according to William,
dropped, for the fresh wine was put on the table. But after they had
drunk the most of it--the captain, according to William, drinking
less than usual--it was brought up again, he couldn't tell by which
of them. And in five minutes after, they were all at my door,
demanding the key of the room at the top of the stair. I was just
going up to see poor Emily when I heard the noise of their unsteady
feet coming along the passage to my door; and I gave the captain the
key at once, wishing with all my heart he might get a good fright
for his pains. He took a jug with him, too, to bring some water up
from the well, as a proof he had been down. The rest of the
gentlemen went with him into the little cellar-room; but they
wouldn't stop there till he came up again, they said it was so cold.
They all came into my room, where they talked as gentlemen wouldn't
do if the wine hadn't got uppermost. It was some time before the
captain returned. It's a good way down and back. When he came in at
last, he looked as if he had got the fright I wished him, he had
such a scared look. The candle in his lantern was out, and there was
no water in the jug. "There's your guinea, Centlivre," says he,
throwing it on the table. "You needn't ask me any questions, for I
won't answer one of them."--"Captain," says I, as he turned to leave
the room, and the other gentlemen rose to follow him, "I'll just
hang up the key again."--" By all means," says he. "Where is it,
then?" says I. He started and made as if he searched his pockets all
over for it. "I must have dropped it," says he; "but it's of no
consequence; you can send William to look for it in the morning. It
can't be lost, you know."--"Very well, captain," said I. But I
didn't like being without the key, because of course he hadn't
locked the door, and that part of the house has a bad name, and no
wonder. It wasn't exactly pleasant to have the door left open. All
this time I couldn't get to see how Emily was. As often as I looked
from my window, I saw her light in the old west turret out there,
Samuel. You know the room where the bed is still. The rain and the
wind will be blowing right through it to-night. That's the bed you
was born upon, Samuel.'--It's all gone now, sir, turret and all,
like a good deal more about the old place; but there's a story about
that turret afterwards, only I mustn't try to tell you two things at
once.--'Now I had told the Indian woman that if anything happened,
if she was worse, or wanted to see me, she must put the candle on
the right side of the window, and I should always be looking out,
and would come directly, whoever might wait. For I was expecting you
some time soon, and nobody knew anything about when you might come.
But there the blind continued drawn down as before. So I thought all
was going on right. And what with the storm keeping Sir Giles and so
many more that would have gone home that night, there was no end of
work, and some contrivance necessary, I can tell you, to get them
all bedded for the night, for we were nothing too well provided with
blankets and linen in the house. There was always more room than
money in it. So it was past twelve o'clock before I had a minute to
myself, and that was only after they had all gone to bed--the bride
and bridegroom in the crimson chamber, of course. Well, at last I
crept quietly into Emily's room. I ought to have told you that I had
not let her know anything about the wedding being that day, and had
enjoined the heathen woman not to say a word; for I thought she
might as well die without hearing about it. But I believe the vile
wretch did tell her. When I opened the room-door, there was no light
there. I spoke, but no one answered. I had my own candle in my hand,
but it had been blown out as I came up the stair. I turned and ran
along the corridor to reach the main stair, which was the nearest
way to my room, when all at once I heard such a shriek from the
crimson chamber as I never heard in my life. It made me all creep
like worms. And in a moment doors and doors were opened, and lights
came out, everybody looking terrified; and what with drink, and
horror, and sleep, some of the gentlemen were awful to look upon.
And the door of the crimson chamber opened too, and the captain
appeared in his dressing-gown, bawling out to know what was the
matter; though I'm certain, to this day, the cry did come from that
room, and that he knew more about it than any one else did. As soon
as I got a light, however, which I did from Sir Giles's candle, I
left them to settle it amongst them, and ran back to the west
turret. When I entered the room, there was my dear girl lying white
and motionless. There could be no doubt a baby had been born, but no
baby was to be seen. I rushed to the bed; but though she was still
warm, your poor mother was quite dead. There was no use in thinking
about helping her; but what could have become of the child? As if by
a light in my mind, I saw it all. I rushed down to my room, got my
lantern, and, without waiting to be afraid, ran to the underground
stairs, where I actually found the door standing open. I had not
gone down more than three turnings, when I thought I heard a cry,
and I sped faster still. And just about half-way down, there lay a
bundle in a blanket. And how ever you got over the state I found you
in, Samuel, I can't think. But I caught you up as you was, and ran
to my own room with you; and I locked the door, and there being a
kettle on the fire, and some conveniences in the place, I did the
best for you I could. For the breath wasn't out of you, though it
well might have been. And then I laid you before the fire, and by
that time you had begun to cry a little, to my great pleasure, and
then I got a blanket off my bed, and wrapt you up in it; and, the
storm being abated by this time, made the best of my way with you
through the snow to the lodge, where William's wife lived. It was
not so far off then as it is now. But in the midst of my trouble the
silly body did make me laugh when he opened the door to me, and saw
the bundle in my arms. "Mrs Prendergast," says he, "I didn't expect
it of you."--"Hold your tongue," I said. "You would never have
talked such nonsense if you had had the grace to have any of your
own," says I. And with that I into the bedroom and shut the door,
and left him out there in his shirt. My sister and I soon got
everything arranged, for there was no time to lose. And before
morning I had all made tidy, and your poor mother lying as sweet a
corpse as ever angel saw. And no one could say a word against her.
And it's my belief that that villain made her believe somehow or
other that she was as good as married to him. She was buried down
there in the churchyard, close by the vestry-door,' said my aunt,
sir; and all of our family have been buried there ever since, my son
Tom's wife among them, sir."
"But what was that cry in the house?" I asked "And what became of
the black woman?"
"The woman was never seen again in our quarter; and what the cry was
my aunt never would say. She seemed to know though; notwithstanding,
as she said, that Captain and Mrs Crowfoot denied all knowledge of
it. But the lady looked dreadful, she said, and never was well
again, and died at the birth of her first child. That was the
present Mrs Oldcastle's father, sir."
"But why should the woman have left you on the stair, instead of
drowning you in the well at the bottom?"
"My aunt evidently thought there was some mystery about that as well
as the other, for she had no doubt about the woman's intention. But
all she would ever say concerning it was, 'The key was never found,
Samuel. You see I had to get a new one made.' And she pointed to
where it hung on the wall. 'But that doesn't look new now,' she
would say. 'The lock was very hard to fit again.' And so you see,
sir, I was brought up as her nephew, though people were surprised,
no doubt, that William Weir's wife should have a child, and nobody
know she was expecting.--Well, with all the reports of the captain's
money, none of it showed in this old place, which from that day
began, as it were, to crumble away. There's been little repair done
upon it since then. If it hadn't been a well-built place to begin
with, it wouldn't be standing now, sir. But it's a very different
place, I can tell you. Why, all behind was a garden with terraces,
and fruit trees, and gay flowers, to no end. I remember it as well
as yesterday; nay, a great deal better, for the matter of that. For
I don't remember yesterday at all, sir."
I have tried a little to tell the story as he told it. But I am
aware that I have succeeded very badly; for I am not like my friend
in London, who, I verily believe, could give you an exact
representation of any dialect he ever heard. I wish I had been able
to give a little more of the form of the old man's speech; all I
have been able to do is to show a difference from my own way of
telling a story. But in the main, I think, I have reported it
correctly. I believe if the old man was correct in representing his
aunt's account, the story is very little altered between us.
But why should I tell such a story at all?
I am willing to allow, at once, that I have very likely given it
more room than it deserves in these poor Annals of mine; but the
reason why I tell it at all is simply this, that, as it came from
the old man's lips, it interested me greatly. It certainly did not
produce the effect I had hoped to gain from an interview with him,
namely, A REDUCTION TO THE COMMON AND PRESENT. For all this ancient
tale tended to keep up the sense of distance between my day's
experience at the Hall and the work I had to do amongst my cottagers
and trades-people. Indeed, it came very strangely upon that
experience.
"But surely you did not believe such an extravagant tale? The old
man was in his dotage, to begin with."
Had the old man been in his dotage, which he was not, my answer
would have been a more triumphant one. For when was dotage
consistently and imaginatively inventive? But why should I not
believe the story? There are people who can never believe anything
that is not (I do not say merely in accordance with their own
character, but) in accordance with the particular mood they may
happen to be in at the time it is presented to them. They know
nothing of human nature beyond their own immediate preference at the
moment for port or sherry, for vice or virtue. To tell me there
could not be a man so lost to shame, if to rectitude, as Captain
Crowfoot, is simply to talk nonsense. Nay, gentle reader, if
you--and let me suppose I address a lady--if you will give yourself
up for thirty years to doing just whatever your lowest self and not
your best self may like, I will warrant you capable, by the end of
that time, of child murder at least. I do not think the descent to
Avernus is always easy; but it is always possible. Many and many
such a story was fact in old times; and human nature being the same
still, though under different restraints, equally horrible things
are constantly in progress towards the windows of the newspapers.
"But the whole tale has such a melodramatic air!"
That argument simply amounts to this: that, because such subjects
are capable of being employed with great dramatic effect, and of
being at the same time very badly represented, therefore they cannot
take place in real life. But ask any physician of your acquaintance,
whether a story is unlikely simply because it involves terrible
things such as do not occur every day. The fact is, that such
things, occurring monthly or yearly only, are more easily hidden
away out of sight. Indeed we can have no sense of security for
ourselves except in the knowledge that we are striving up and away,
and therefore cannot be sinking nearer to the region of such awful
possibilities.
Yet, as I said before, I am afraid I have given it too large a space
in my narrative. Only it so forcibly reminded me at the time of the
expression I could not understand upon Miss Oldcastle's face, and
since then has been so often recalled by circumstances and events,
that I felt impelled to record it in full. And now I have done with
it.
I left the old man with thanks for the kind reception he had given
me, and walked home, revolving many things with which I shall not
detain the attention of my reader. Indeed my thoughts were confused
and troubled, and would ill bear analysis or record. I shut myself
up in my study, and tried to read a sermon of Jeremy Taylor. But it
would not do. I fell fast asleep over it at last, and woke
refreshed.
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