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A HUMAN SOUL.
Ericson lay for several weeks, during which time Robert and Shargar
were his only nurses. They contrived, by abridging both rest and
labour, to give him constant attendance. Shargar went to bed early
and got up early, so as to let Robert have a few hours' sleep before
his classes began. Robert again slept in the evening, after Shargar
came home, and made up for the time by reading while he sat by his
friend. Mrs. Fyvie's attendance was in requisition only for the
hours when he had to be at lectures. By the greatest economy of
means, consisting of what Shargar brought in by jobbing about the
quay and the coach-offices, and what Robert had from Dr. Anderson
for copying his manuscript, they contrived to procure for Ericson
all that he wanted. The shopping of the two boys, in their utter
ignorance of such delicacies as the doctor told them to get for him,
the blunders they made as to the shops at which they were to be
bought, and the consultations they held, especially about the
preparing of the prescribed nutriment, afforded them many an amusing
retrospect in after years. For the house was so full of lodgers,
that Robert begged Mrs. Fyvie to give herself no trouble in the
matter. Her conscience, however, was uneasy, and she spoke to Dr.
Anderson; but he assured her that she might trust the boys. What
cooking they could not manage, she undertook cheerfully, and refused
to add anything to the rent on Shargar's account.
Dr. Anderson watched everything, the two boys as much as his
patient. He allowed them to work on, sending only the wine that was
necessary from his own cellar. The moment the supplies should begin
to fail, or the boys to look troubled, he was ready to do more.
About Robert's perseverance he had no doubt: Shargar's faithfulness
he wanted to prove.
Robert wrote to his grandmother to tell her that Shargar was with
him, working hard. Her reply was somewhat cold and offended, but
was inclosed in a parcel containing all Shargar's garments, and
ended with the assurance that as long as he did well she was ready
to do what she could.
Few English readers will like Mrs. Falconer; but her grandchild
considered her one of the noblest women ever God made; and I, from
his account, am of the same mind. Her care was fixed
To fill her odorous lamp with deeds of light,
And hope that reaps not shame.
And if one must choose between the how and the what, let me have the
what, come of the how what may. I know of a man so sensitive, that
he shuts his ears to his sister's griefs, because it spoils his
digestion to think of them.
One evening Robert was sitting by the table in Ericson's room. Dr.
Anderson had not called that day, and he did not expect to see him
now, for he had never come so late. He was quite at his ease,
therefore, and busy with two things at once, when the doctor opened
the door and walked in. I think it is possible that he came up
quietly with some design of surprising him. He found him with a
stocking on one hand, a darning needle in the other, and a Greek
book open before him. Taking no apparent notice of him, he walked
up to the bedside, and Robert put away his work. After his
interview with his patient was over, the doctor signed to him to
follow him to the next room. There Shargar lay on the rug already
snoring. It was a cold night in December, but he lay in his
under-clothing, with a single blanket round him.
'Good training for a soldier,' said the doctor; 'and so was your
work a minute ago, Robert.'
'Ay,' answered Robert, colouring a little; 'I was readin' a bit o'
the Anabasis.'
The doctor smiled a far-off sly smile.
'I think it was rather the Katabasis, if one might venture to judge
from the direction of your labours.'
'Weel,' answered Robert, 'what wad ye hae me do? Wad ye hae me lat
Mr. Ericson gang wi' holes i' the heels o' 's hose, whan I can mak
them a' snod, an' learn my Greek at the same time? Hoots, doctor!
dinna lauch at me. I was doin' nae ill. A body may please
themsel's--whiles surely, ohn sinned.'
'But it's such waste of time! Why don't you buy him new ones?'
''Deed that's easier said than dune. I hae eneuch ado wi' my siller
as 'tis; an' gin it warna for you, doctor, I do not ken what wad
come o' 's; for ye see I hae no richt to come upo' my grannie for
ither fowk. There wad be nae en' to that.'
'But I could lend you the money to buy him some stockings.'
'An' whan wad I be able to pay ye, do ye think, doctor? In anither
warl' maybe, whaur the currency micht be sae different there wad be
no possibility o' reckonin' the rate o' exchange. Na, na.'
'But I will give you the money if you like.'
'Na, na. You hae dune eneuch already, an' mony thanks. Siller's no
sae easy come by to be wastit, as lang's a darn 'll do. Forbye, gin
ye began wi' his claes, ye wadna ken whaur to haud; for it wad jist
be the new claith upo' the auld garment: ye micht as weel new cleed
him at ance.'
'And why not if I choose, Mr. Falconer?'
'Speir ye that at him, an' see what ye'll get--a luik 'at wad fess a
corbie (carrion crow) frae the lift (sky). I wadna hae ye try that.
Some fowk's poverty maun be han'let jist like a sair place, doctor.
He canna weel compleen o' a bit darnin'.--He canna tak that ill,'
repeated Robert, in a tone that showed he yet felt some anxiety on
the subject; 'but new anes! I wadna like to be by whan he fand that
oot. Maybe he micht tak them frae a wuman; but frae a man
body!--na, na; I maun jist darn awa'. But I'll mak them dacent
eneuch afore I hae dune wi' them. A fiddler has fingers.'
The doctor smiled a pleased smile; but when he got into his
carriage, again he laughed heartily.
The evening deepened into night. Robert thought Ericson was asleep.
But he spoke.
'Who is that at the street door?' he said.
They were at the top of the house, and there was no window to the
street. But Ericson's senses were preternaturally acute, as is
often the case in such illnesses.
'I dinna hear onybody,' answered Robert.
'There was somebody,' returned Ericson.
>From that moment he began to be restless, and was more feverish than
usual throughout the night.
Up to this time he had spoken little, was depressed with a suffering
to which he could give no name--not pain, he said--but such that he
could rouse no mental effort to meet it: his endurance was passive
altogether. This night his brain was more affected. He did not
rave, but often wandered; never spoke nonsense, but many words that
would have seemed nonsense to ordinary people: to Robert they seemed
inspired. His imagination, which was greater than any other of his
fine faculties, was so roused that he talked in verse--probably
verse composed before and now recalled. He would even pray
sometimes in measured lines, and go on murmuring petitions, till the
words of the murmur became undistinguishable, and he fell asleep.
But even in his sleep he would speak; and Robert would listen in
awe; for such words, falling from such a man, were to him as dim
breaks of coloured light from the rainbow walls of the heavenly
city.
'If God were thinking me,' said Ericson, 'ah! But if he be only
dreaming me, I shall go mad.'
Ericson's outside was like his own northern clime--dark, gentle, and
clear, with gray-blue seas, and a sun that seems to shine out of the
past, and know nothing of the future. But within glowed a volcanic
angel of aspiration, fluttering his half-grown wings, and ever
reaching towards the heights whence all things are visible, and
where all passions are safe because true, that is divine. Iceland
herself has her Hecla.
Robert listened with keenest ear. A mist of great meaning hung
about the words his friend had spoken. He might speak more. For
some minutes he listened in vain, and was turning at last towards
his book in hopelessness, when he did speak yet again: Robert's ear
soon detected the rhythmic motion of his speech.
'Come in the glory of thine excellence;
Rive the dense gloom with wedges of clear light;
And let the shimmer of thy chariot wheels
Burn through the cracks of night.--So slowly, Lord,
To lift myself to thee with hands of toil,
Climbing the slippery cliff of unheard prayer!
Lift up a hand among my idle days--
One beckoning finger. I will cast aside
The clogs of earthly circumstance, and run
Up the broad highways where the countless worlds
Sit ripening in the summer of thy love.'
Breathless for fear of losing a word, Robert yet remembered that he
had seen something like these words in the papers Ericson had given
him to read on the night when his illness began. When he had fallen
asleep and silent, he searched and found the poem from which I give
the following extracts. He had not looked at the papers since that
night.
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