|
|
Prev
| Next
| Contents
A BREAKING UP.
Things in the castle went on in the same quiet way as before for
some time. Cosmo settled himself in his father's room, and read and
wrote, and pondered and aspired. The household led the same homely
simple life, only fared better. The housekeeping was in Grizzie's
hands, and she was a liberal soul--a true BREAD-GIVER.
James Gracie did not linger long behind his friend. His last words
were, "I won'er gien I hae a chance o' winnin' up wi' the laird!"
On the morning that followed his funeral, as soon as breakfast was
over, Aggie sought Cosmo, where he sat in the garden with a book in
his hand.
"Whaur are ye gaein', Aggie?" he said, as she approached prepared
for walking.
"MY hoor's come," she answered. "It's time I was awa'."
"I dinna un'erstan' ye, Aggie," he returned.
"Hoo sud ye, sir? Ilka body kens, or sud ken, what lies to their
ain han'. It lies to mine to gang. I'm no wantit langer. Ye wadna
hae me ait the breid o' idleness?"
"But, Aggie," remonstrated Cosmo, "ye're ane o' the faimily! I wad
as sune think o' seein' my ain sister, gien I had ane, gang fra
hame for sic a nae rizzon at a'!"
The tears rose in her eyes, and her voice trembled:
"It canna be helpit; I maun gang," she said.
Cosmo was dumb for many moments; he had never thought of such a
possibility; and Aggie stood silent before him.
"What hae ye i' yer heid, Aggie? What thoucht ye o' duin' wi'
yersel'?" he asked at length, his heart swelling so that he could
scarcely bring out the words.
"I'm gaein' to luik for a place."
"But, Aggie, gien it canna be helpit; and gang ye maun, YE ken I'm
rich, an' I ken there's naebody i' the warl' wi' a better richt
to share in what I hae: wadna ye like to gang til a ladies' school,
an' learn a heap o' things?"
"Na, I wadna. It's hard wark I need to haud me i' the richt ro'd. I
can aye learn what I hunger for, an' what ye dinna desire ye'll
never learn. Thanks to yersel' an' Maister Simon, ye hae putten me
i' the w'y o' that! It's no kennin' things--it's kennin' things
upo' the ro'd ye gang,'at 's o' consequence to ye. The lave I mak
naething o'."
"But a time micht come whan ye wad want mony a thing ye micht hae
learnt afore."
"Whan that time comes, I'll learn them than, wi' half the trouble,
an' in half the time,--no to mention the pleesur o' learnin' them.
Noo, they wad but tak me frae the things I can an' maun mak use o'.
Na, Cosmo, I'm b'un' to du something wi' what I hae, an' no bide
till I get mair. I'll be aye gettin'."
"Weel, Aggie, I daurna temp' ye to bide gien ye oucht to gang; an'
ye wad but despise me gien I was fule eneuch to try 't. But ye
canna refuse to share wi' me. That wadna be like ane 'at had the
same father an' the same maister. Tak a thoosan' poun' to begin
wi', an' gang an'--an' du onything ye like, only dinna work yersel'
to deith wi' rouch wark. I canna bide to think o' 't."
"A thoosan' poun'! No ae baubee! Cosmo, I wad hae thoucht ye had
mair sense! What wad baudrins (PUSSY-CAT) there du wi' a silk goon?
Ye can gie me the twa poun' ten I gae to Grizzie to help haud the
life in 's a'. A body maun hae something i' their pooch gien they
can, an' gien they canna, they maun du wi' naething. It's won'erfu'
hoo little 's railly wantit!"
Cosmo felt miserable.
"Ye winna surely gang ohn seein' Maister Simon!"
"I tried to see him last nicht, but auld Dorty wadna lat me near
him. I WAD fain say fareweel til him."
"Weel, put aff gaein' awa' till the morn, an' we'll gang thegither
the nicht an' see him. Dorty winna haud ME oot."
Aggie hesitated, thought, and consented. Leaving Cosmo more
distressed than she knew, she went to the kitchen, took off her
bonnet, and telling Grizzie she was not going till the morrow, sat
down, and proceeded to pare the potatoes.
"Ance mair," said Grizzie, resuming an unclosed difference, "what
for ye sud gang's clean 'ayont me. It's true the auld men are awa',
but here's the auld wife left, an' she'll be a mither to ye, as
weel's she kens hoo, an' a lass o' your sense is easy to mither. I'
the name o' God I say't, the warl' micht as weel objec' to twa
angels bidin' i' h'aven thegither as you an' the yoong laird in ae
hoose! Say 'at they like, ye're but a servan' lass, an' here am I
ower ye! Aggie, I'm grouin' auld, an' railly no fit to mak a bed my
lane--no to mention scoorin' the flure! It's no considerate o' ye,
Aggie!--jist 'cause yer father--hoots, he was but yer gran'father!
--'s deid o' a guid auld age, an' gaithert til HIS fathers, to gang
an' lea' me my lane! Whaur am I to get a body I cud bide to hae i'
my sicht, an' you awa'--you 'at's been like bane o' my bane to me!
It's no guid o' ye, Aggie! There maun be temper intil 't! I'm sure
I ken no cause ever I gae ye."
Aggie said not a word; she had said all she could say, over and
over; so now she pared her potatoes, and was silent. Her heart was
sore, but her mind was clear, and her will strong.
Up and down the little garden Cosmo walked, revolving many things.
"What is this world and its ways," he said, "but a dream that
dreams itself out and is gone!"
The majority of men, whether they think or not, worship solidity
and fact: to such Cosmo's conclusion must seem both foolish and
dangerous--though a dream may be filled with truth, and a fact be a
mere shred for the winds of the limbo of vanities. Everything that
CAN pass belongs to the same category with the dream. The question
is whether the passing body leaves a live soul; whether the dream
has been dreamed, the life lived aright. For there is a reality
beyond all facts of suns and systems; solidity itself is but the
shadow of a divine necessity; and there may be more truth in a
fable than in a whole biography. Where life and truth are one,
there is no passing, no dreaming more. To that waking all dreams
truly dreamed are guiding the dreamer. But the last thing--and this
was the conclusion of Cosmo's meditation--any dreamer needs regard,
is the judgment of other dreamers upon his dreams. The
all-pervading, ill-odoured phantom called Society is but the ghost
of a false God. The fear of man, the trust in man, the deference to
the opinion of man, is the merest worship of a rag-stuffed idol.
The man who SEEKS the judgment of God can well smile at the
unsolicited approval or condemnation of self-styled Society. There
IS a true society--quite another thing. Doubtless the judgment of
the world is of even moral value to those capable of regarding it.
To deprive a thief of the restraining influence of the code of
thieves' honour, would be to do him irreparable wrong; so with the
tradesman whose law is the custom of the trade; but God demands an
honesty, a dignity, a beauty of being, altogether different from
that demanded by man of his fellow; and he who is taught of God is
set out of sight above such law as that of thieves' honour,
trade-custom, or social recognition--all of the same
quality--subjected instead to a law which obeyed is liberty,
disobeyed is a hell deeper than Society's attendant slums.
"Here is a woman," said Cosmo to himself, "who, with her earnings
and her labour both, ministered to the very bodily life of my
father and myself! She has been in the house the angel of God--the
noblest, truest of women! She has ten times as much genuine
education as most men who have been to college! Her brain is second
only to her heart!--If it had but pleased God to make her my
sister! But there is a way of pulling out the tongue of Slander!"
The evening was Mr. Simon's best time, and they therefore let the
sun go down before they left the castle to visit him. On their way
they had a right pleasant talk about old things, now the one now
the other bringing some half faded event from the store-closet of
memory.
"I doobt ye winna min' me takin' ye oot o' the Warlock ae day there
was a gey bit o' a spait on?" said Agnes at length, looking up in
Cosmo's face.
"Eh, I never h'ard o' that, Aggie!" replied Cosmo.
"I canna think to this day hoo it was ye fell in," she went on: "I
hadna the chairge o' ye at the time. Ye maun hae run oot o' the
hoose, an' me efter ye. I was verra near taen awa' wi' ye. Hoo we
wan oot o' the watter I canna un'erstan'. A' 'at I ken is 'at whan
I cam to mysel', we war lyin' grippit til ane anither upon a laich
bit o' the bank."
"But hoo was't 'at naebody ever said a word aboot it efterhin'?"
asked Cosmo. "I never tellt onybody, an' ye wasna auld eneuch no to
forget a' aboot it."
"What for didna ye tell?"
"I was feart they wad think it my wite, an' no lat me tak chairge
o' ye ony mair, whauras I kent ye was safer wi' me nor wi' ony
ither aboot the place. Gien it had been my wite, I cudna hae hauden
my tongue; but as it was, I didna see I was b'un' to tell."
"Hoo did ye hide it?"
"I ran wi' he hame to oor ain hoose. There was naebody there. I
tuik aff yer weet claes, an' pat ye intil my bed till I got them
dry."
"An' hoo did ye wi' yer ain?"
"By the time yours was dry, mine was dry tu."
When they arrived at the cottage, Dorty demurred, but her master
heard Cosmo's voice and rang his bell.
"I little thought your father would have gone before me," said Mr.
Simon. "I think I was aware of his death. I saw nothing, heard
nothing, neither was I thinking about him at the moment; but he
seemed to come to me, and I said to myself,'He is on his way home.'
I shall have a talk with him by and by."
Agnes told him she had come to bid him good-bye; she was going
after a place.
"Well," he answered, after a thoughtful pause, "so long as we obey
the light in us, and that light is not darkness, we can't go wrong.
If we should mistake, he will turn things round for us; and if we
be to blame, he will let us see it."
He was weak, and they did not stay long.
"Don't judge my heart by my words, my dear scholars," he said. "My
heart is right toward you, but I am too weary to show it. God bless
you both. I may not see you again, Agnes, but I shall think of you
there, and if I can do anything for you, be sure I will."
When they left the cottage, the twilight was halfway towards the
night, and a vague softness in the east prophesied the moon. Cosmo
led Agnes through the fields to the little hollow where she had so
often gone to seek him. There they sat down in the grass, and
waited for the moon. Cosmo pointed out the exact spot where she
rose that night she looked at him through the legs of the cow.
"Ye min' Grizzle's rime," he said:
"'Whan the coo loups ower the mune, The reid gowd rains intil men's
shune'?
"I believe Grizzie took the queer sicht for a guid omen. It's unco
strange hoo fowk 'll mix up God an' chance, seein' there could
hardly be twa mair contradictory ideas! I min' ance hearin' a man
say,'It's almost a providence!'"
"I doobt wi' maist fowk," said Aggie, "it's only 'There's almost a
God.' For my pairt I see nae room atween no believin' in him at a',
an' believin' in him a' thegither an' lattin him du what he likes
wi' 's."
"I'm o' your min' there, Aggie, oot an' oot," responded Cosmo.
As he spoke the moon came peering up, and, turning to Agnes to
share the sight with her, he saw the yellow light reflected from
tears. "Aggie! Aggie!" he said, in much concern, "what are ye
greitin' for?"
She made no answer, but wiped away her tears, and tried to smile.
After a little pause,
"Ony body wad think, Cosmo," she said, "'at gien I believed in a
God, he maun be a sma' ane! What for sud onybody greit 'at has but
a far awa' notion o' sic a God as you an' the laird an' Maister
Simon believes in!"
"Ye may weel say that, Aggie!" rejoined Cosmo--yet sighed as he
said it, for he thought of Lady Joan. A long pause followed, and
then he spoke again.
"Aggie," he said, "there canna weel be twa i' this warl' 'at ken
ane anither better nor you an' me. We hae been bairns thegither; we
hae been to the schuil thegither; we hae had the same maister; we
hae come throu dour times thegither--I doobt we hae been hungry
thegither, though ye saidna a word; we hae warstlet wi' poverty,
an' maybe wi' unbelief; we loe the same fowk best; an' abune a' we
set the wull o' God. It wad be sair upo' baith o' 's to pairt--an'
to me a vex forby 'at the first thing w'alth did for me sud be to
tak you awa'. It wad 'maist brak my hert to think 'at her 'at cam
throu the lan' o' drowth wi' me--ay, tuik me throu' 't' for,
wantin' her, I wad hae fa'en to rise nae mair, sud gang on climmin'
the dry hill-ro'd, an' me lyin' i' the bonny meadow-gerse at the
fut o' 't. It canna be rizzon, Aggie! What for sud ye gang? Merry
me, Aggie, an' bide--bide an' ca' the castel yer ain."
"Hoots! wad ye merry yer mither!" cried Agnes, and to Cosmo's fresh
dismay burst into laughter and tears together. I believe it was the
sole time in her life she ever gave way to discordant emotion.
Cosmo stared speechless. It was as if an angel had made a poor
human joke! He was much too bewildered to feel hurt, especially as
he was aware of no committed absurdity.
But Aggie was not pleased with herself. She choked her tears,
crushed down her laughter, and conquered. She took his hand in
hers.
"I beg yer pardon, Cosmo," she said; "I shouldna hae lauchen.
Lauchin', I'm sure,'s far eneuch frae my hert! I kenna hoo I cam to
du 't. But ye're sic a bairn, Cosmo! Ye dinna ken what ye wad hae!
An' bein' a kin' o' a mither to ye a' yer life, I maun lat ye see
what ye're aboot--I wadna insist owersair upo' the years atween 's,
though that's no a sma' maitter, but surely ye haena to be tellt at
this time o' day,'at for fowk to merry 'at dinna loe ane anither,
is little gien it be onything short o' a sin."
"_I_ hae aye loed YOU, Aggie," said Cosmo, with some reproach in
his tone.
"Weel du I ken that. An ill hert wad be mine gien it didna tell me
that! But, Cosmo, whan ye said the word, didna YOUR hert tell ye ye
meant by 't something no jist the verra same as ye inten' it me to
un'erstan' by 't?"
"Aggie, Aggie!" sighed Cosmo, "I wad aye loe ye better an' better."
"Ay, ye wad, gien ye cud, Cosmo. But ye're ower honest to see
throu' yersel'; an' I'm no sae honest but I can see throu' you. Ye
wad merry me 'cause ye're no wullin' to pairt wi' me, likin' me
better nor ony but ane, an' her ye canna get! Gien I was a leddy,
Cosmo, maybe I michtna be ower prood to tak ye upo' thae terms, but
no bein' what I am. It wad need love as roon's a sphere for that.
Eh, but there micht come a time o' sair repentance! Ance merried
upo' you, gien I war to tak it intil my heid 'at I was ae hair i'
yer gait, or 'at ye was ae hair freer like wi me oot o' yer sicht,
I wad be like to rin to the verra back-wa' o' creation! Na; it was
weel eneuch as we hae been, but MERRIED! Ye wad be guid to me aye, I
ken that, but I wad be aye wantin' to be deid,'at ye micht loe me
a wee better. I say naething o' what the warl' wad say to the laird
o' Glenwarlock merryin' his servan' lass; for ye care as little for
the warl' as I du, an' we're baith some wiser nor it. But efter a',
Cosmo, I wad be some oot o' my place--wadna I noo? The hen-birds
nae doobt are aye the soberer to luik at, an' haena the gran'
colours nor the gran' w'ys wi' them 'at the cocks hae; but still
there's a measur in a' thing: it wad ill set a common hen to hae a
peacock for her man. My sowl, I ken, wad gang han' in han', in a
heumble w'y, wi' yours, for I un'erstan' ye, Cosmo; an' the day may
come whan I'll luik fitter for yer company nor I can the noo; but
wha like me could help a sense o' unfitness, gien it war but gaein'
to the kirk side by side wi' you? Luik at the twa o' 's noo i' the
munelicht thegither! Dinna ye see 'at we dinna match?"
"A' that wad be naething gien ye loed me, Aggie."
"Gien YE loed ME, say, Cosmo--loed me eneuch to be prood o' me! But
that ye dinna. Exem' yer ain hert, an' ye'll see 'at ye dinna.--An'
what for sud ye!"
Here Aggie broke down. A burst of silent weeping, like that of one
desiring no comfort, followed. Suddenly she ceased and rose, and
they walked home without a word.
When Cosmo came down in the morning, Aggie was gone.
Prev
| Next
| Contents
|
|
|