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THE SHADOW OF DEATH.
Every step Cosmo took after leaving the village, was like a
revelation and a memory in one. When he turned out of the main
road, the hills came rushing to meet and welcome him, yet it was
only that they stood there changeless, eternally the same, just as
they had been: that was the welcome with which they met the heart
that had always loved them.
When first he opened his eyes, they were as the nursing arms the
world spread out to take him; and now, returning from the far
countries where they were unknown, they spread them out afresh to
receive him home. The next turn was home itself, for that turn was
at the base of the ridge on which the castle stood.
The moment he took it, a strange feeling of stillness came over
him, and as he drew nearer, it deepened. When he entered the gate
of the close, it was a sense, and had grown almost appalling. With
sudden inroad his dream returned! Was the place empty utterly? Was
there no life in it? Not yet had he heard a sound; there was no
sign from cow-house or stable. A cart with one wheel stood in the
cart-shed; a harrow lay, spikes upward, where he had hollowed the
mound of snow. The fields themselves had an unwonted, a haggard
sort of look. A crop of oats was ripening in that nearest the
close, but they covered only the half of it: the rest was in
potatoes, and amongst them, sole show of labour or life, he saw
Aggie: she was pulling the PLUMS off their stems. The doors were
shut all round the close--all but the kitchen-door; that stood as
usual wide open. A sickening fear came upon Cosmo: it was more than
a week since he had heard from home! In that time his father might
be dead, and therefore the place be so desolate! He dared not enter
the house. He would go first into the garden, and there pray, and
gather courage.
He went round the kitchen-tower, as the nearest block was called,
and made for his old seat, the big, smooth stone. Some one was
sitting there, with his head bent forward on his knees! By the red
night-cap it must be his father, but how changed the whole aspect
of the good man! His look was that of a worn-out labourer--one who
has borne the burden and heat of the day, and is already half
asleep, waiting for the night. Motionless as a statue of weariness
he sat; on the ground lay a spade which looked as if it had dropped
from his hand as he sat upon the stone; and beside him on that lay
his Marion's Bible. Cosmo's heart sank within him, and for a moment
he stood motionless.
But the first movement he made forward, the old man lifted his head
with an expectant look, then rose in haste, and, unable to
straighten himself, hurried, stooping, with short steps, to meet
him. Placing his hands on his son's shoulders, he raised himself
up, and laid his face to his; then for a few moments they were
silent, each in the other's arms.
The laird drew back his head and looked his son in the face. A
heavenly smile crossed the sadness of his countenance, and his
wrinkled old hand closed tremulous on Cosmo's shoulder.
"They canna tak frae me my son!" he murmured--and from that time
rarely spoke to him save in the mother-tongue.
Then he led him to the stone, where there was just room enough for
two that loved each other, and they sat down together.
The laird put his hand on his son's knee, as, when a boy, Cosmo
used to put his on his father's.
"Are ye the same, Cosmo?" he asked. "Are ye my ain bairn?"
"Father," returned Cosmo, "gien it be possible, I loe ye mair nor
ever. I'm come hame to ye, no to lea' ye again sae lang as ye live.
Gien ye be in ony want, I s' better 't gien I can, an' share 't ony
gait. Ay, I may weel say I'm the same, only mair o' 't."
"The Lord's name be praist!" murmured the laird. "--But du ye loe
HIM the same as ever, Cosmo?" again he asked.
"Father, I dinna loe him the same--I loe him a heap better. He kens
noo 'at he may tak his wull o' me. Naething' at I ken o' comes
'atween him an' me."
The old man raised his arm, and put it round his boy's shoulders:
he was not one of the many Scotch fathers who make their children
fear more than love them.
"Then, Lord, let me die in peace," he said, "for mine eyes hae seen
thy salvation!--But ye dinna luik freely the same, Cosmo!--Hoo is
't?"
"I hae come throuw a heap, lately, father," answered Cosmo. "I hae
been ailin' in body, an' sair harassed in hert. I'll tell ye a'
aboot it, whan we hae time--and o' that we'll hae plenty, I s'
warran', for I tell ye I winna lea' ye again; an' gien ye had only
latten me ken ye was failin', I wad hae come hame lang syne. It was
sair agen the grain 'at I baid awa'."
"The auld sudna lie upo' the tap o' the yoong, Cosmo, my son."
"Father, I wad willin'ly be a bed to ye to lie upo', gien that wad
ease ye; but I'm thinkin' we baith may lie saft upo' the wull o'
the great Father, e'en whan that's hardest."
"True as trowth!" returned the laird. "--But ye're luikin' some
tired-like, Cosmo!"
"I AM some tired, an' unco dry. I wad fain hae a drink o' milk."
The old man's head dropped again on his bosom, and so for the space
of about a minute he sat. Then he lifted it up, and said, looking
with calm clear eyes in those of his son,
"I winna greit, Cosmo; I'll say YET, the will o' the Lord be dune,
though it be sair upo' me the noo, whan I haena a drap o' milk
aboot the place to set afore my only-begotten son whan he comes
hame to me frae a far country!--Eh, Lord! whan yer ain son cam hame
frae his sair warstle an' lang sojourn amo' them 'at kenned na him
nor thee, it wasna til an auld shabby man he cam hame, but til the
Lord o' glory an' o' micht! An' whan we a' win hame til the Father
o' a', it'll be to the leevin' stren'th o' the universe.--Cosmo,
the han' o' man's been that heavy upo' me 'at coo efter coo's gane
frae me, an' the last o' them, bonny Yally, left only thestreen.
Ye'll hae to drink cauld watter, my bairn!"
Again the old man's heart overcame him; his head sank, and he
murmured,--"Lord, I haena a drap o' milk to gie my bairn--me 'at
wad gie 'im my hert's bluid! But, Lord, wha am I to speyk like that
to thee, wha didst lat thine ain poor oot his verra sowl's bluid
for him an' me!"
"Father," said Cosmo, "I can du wi' watter as weel's onybody. Du ye
think I'm nae mair o' a man nor to care what I pit intil me? Gien
ye be puirer nor ever, I'm prooder nor ever to share wi' ye. Bide
ye here, an' I'll jist rin an' get a drink, an' come back to ye."
"Na; I maun gang wi' ye, man," answered the laird, rising.
"Grizzie's a heap taen up wi' yer gran'mither. She's been weirin'
awa' this fortnicht back. She's no in pain, the Lord be praised!
an' she'll never ken the straits her hoose is com till! Cosmo, I
hae been a terrible cooard--dreidin' day an' nicht yer hame-comin',
no submittin' 'at ye sud see sic a broken man to the father o' ye!
But noo it's ower, an' here ye are, an' my hert's lichter nor it's
been this mony a lang!"
Cosmo's own sorrow drew back into the distance from before the face
of his father's, and he felt that the business, not the accident of
his life, must henceforth be to support and comfort him. And with
that it was as if a new well of life sprung up suddenly in his
being.
"Father," he said, "we'll haud on thegither i' the stret ro'd.
There's room for twa abreist in't--ance ye're in!"
"Ay! ay!" returned the laird with a smile; "that's the bonniest
word ye cud hae come hame wi' til me! We maun jist perk up a bit,
an' be patient, that patience may hae her perfe't wark. I s' hae
anither try--an' weel I may, for the licht o' my auld e'en is this
day restored til me!"
"An' sae gran'mother's weirin awa', father!"
"To the lan' o' the leal, laddie."
"Wull she ken me?"
"Na, she winna ken ye; she'll never ken onybody mair i' this warl';
but she'll ken plenty whaur she's gaein'!"
He rose, and they walked together towards the kitchen. There was
nobody there, but they heard steps going to and fro in the room
above. The laird made haste, but before he could lay his hand on a
vessel, to get for Cosmo the water he so much desired, Grizzie
appeared on the stair, descending. She hurried down, and across the
floor to Cosmo, and seizing him by the hand, looked him in the face
with the anxiety of an angel-hen. Her look said what his father's
voice had said just before--"Are ye a' there--a' 'at there used to
be?"
"Hoo's gran'mamma?" asked Cosmo.
"Ow, duin' weel eneuch, sir--weirin awa' bonny. She has naither
pang nor knowledge o' sorrow to tribble her. The Lord grant the
sowls o' 's a' sic anither lowsin'!"
"Hae ye naething better nor cauld watter to gie 'im a drink o',
Grizzie, wuman?" asked the laird, but in mere despair.
"Nae 'cep he wad condescen' til a grainie meal intil 't," returned
Grizzie mournfully, and she looked at him again, with an anxious
deprecating look now, as if before the heir she was ashamed of the
poverty of the house, and dreaded blame."--But laird, "she resumed,
turning to her master, "ye hae surely a drap o' something i' yer
cellar! Weel I wat ye hae made awa' wi' nane o' 't yersel!"
"Weel, there ye wat wrang, Grizzie, my bonny wuman!" replied the
laird, with the flicker of a humourous smile on his wrinkled face,
"for I sellt the last bottle oot o' 't a month ago to Stronach o'
the distillery. I thought it cudna du muckle ill there, for it
wadna make his nose sae reid as his ain whusky. Whaur, think ye,
wad the sma' things ye wantit for my mother hae come frae, gien I
hadna happent to hae that property left? We're weel taen care o',
ye see, Grizzie! That WAD hae tried my faith, to hae my mother gang
wi'oot things! But he never suffers us to be tried ayont what we're
able to beir; an' sae lang as my faith hauds the grup, I carena for
back nor belly! Cosmo, I can bide better 'at ye sud want. Ye're
mair like my ain nor even my mother, an' sae we bide it thegither.
It maun be 'cause ye're pairt o' my Mar'on as weel 's o' mysel'.
Eh, man! but this o' faimilies is a won'erfu' Godlike contrivance!
Gien he had taen ony ither w'y o' makin' fowk, whaur wad I hae been
this day wantin' you, Cosmo?"
While he spoke, Cosmo was drinking the water Grizzie had brought
him--with a little meal on the top of it--the same drink he used to
give his old mare, now long departed to the place prepared for her,
when they were out spending the day together.
"There's this to be said for the watter, father," he remarked, as
he set down the wooden bowl in which Grizzie had thought proper to
supply it, "that it comes mair direc' frae the han' o' God
himsel'--maybe nor even the milk. But I dinna ken; for I doobt
organic chemistry maun efter a' be nearer his han' nor inorganic!
Ony gait, I never drank better drink; an' gien ae day he but
saitisfee my sowl's hunger efter his richteousness as he has this
minute saitisfeed my body's drowth efter watter, I s' be a happier
man nor ever sat still ohn danced an' sung."
"It's an innocent cratur' at gies thanks for cauld watter--I hae
aye remarkit that!" said Grizzie. "But I maun awa' to my bairn up
the stair; an' may it please the Lord to lift her or lang, for they
maun be luikin for her yont the burn by this time. Whan she wauks
i' the mornin', the' 'ill be nae mair scornin'!"
This was Grizzie's last against her mistress. The laird took no
notice of it: he knew Grizzie's devotion, and, well as he loved his
mother, could not but know also that there was some ground for her
undevised couplet.
Scarcely a minute had passed when the voice of the old woman came
from the top of the stair, calling aloud and in perturbation,
"Laird! laird! come up direc'ly. Come up, lairds baith! She's
comin' til hersel'!"
They hastened up, Cosmo helping his father, and approached the bed
together.
With smooth, colourless face, unearthly to look upon, the old lady
lay motionless, her eyes wide open, looking up as if they saw
something beyond the tester of the bed, her lips moving, but
uttering no sound. At last came a murmur, in which Cosmo's ears
alone were keen enough to discern the articulation.
"Mar'on, Mar'on," she said, "ye're i' the lan' o' forgiveness! I
hae dune the lad no ill. He'll come hame to ye nane the waur for
ony words o' mine. We're no' a' made sae guid to begin wi' as
yersel', Mar'on!"
Here her voice became a mere murmur, so far as human ears could
distinguish, and presently ceased. A minute or so more and her
breathing grew intermittent. After a few long respirations, at long
intervals, it stopped.
"She'll be haein' 't oot wi' my ain mistress or lang!" remarked
Grizzie to herself as she closed her eyes.
"Mother! mother!" cried the laird, and kneeled by the bedside.
Cosmo kneeled also, but no word of the prayers that ascended was
audible. The laird was giving thanks that another was gone home,
and Cosmo was praying for help to be to his father a true son, such
as the Son of Man was to the Father of Man. They rose from their
knees, and went quietly down the stair; and as they went from the
room, they heard Grizzie say to herself,
"She's gang whaur there's mair--eneuch an' to spare!"
The remains of Lady Joan's ten pounds was enough to bury her.
They invited none, but all the village came to her funeral.
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